You'll Be In My Heart
by Many Impossible Things
Summary: Claire's mom doesn't take Quil imprinting on her daughter quite...well. Claire finds herself back around Forks fifteen years later, looking for her roots and finds someone along with them.
1. Prologue

A/N: Okay, so this is my first story on here, letting people I don't know read it ever. Please, don't send me running for the hills. If it is bad be kind of gentle. It's actually complete but I'll probably take any feedback I get into consideration and revise/edit as I go. Thanks. :)

* * *

><p>"Qwil, why awar you sad?"<p>

Quil Ateara plastered on a smile for the three-year-old beside him. "I'm not sad at all, Claire Bear."

The little girl pushed herself up on her knees on the couch and looked at him with her searching mahogany eyes. They narrowed suspiciously and she put her little hands on her hips. Nodding she rebutted, "Yes you awar. I know betause you awar bad at wying. Unca Emby says so aawl da time. And we watching Tawazan. You aways laugh when I sing da song. You didn't laugh this time and you didn't laugh at da monkey. Dere's somefing wrong. Tewl me. Peeeease Qwil."

Her little smile that managed to take up half her face almost made him break. Whenever she did this to him, he couldn't get over how insightful she was at three. It was ridiculous. It must be a chick thing because he was still working on figuring out when Leah was mad at him and just being her normal crabby self. But he couldn't fold this time. He just tried to take some of the happiness he got at how cute she was and put it into his smile. "I promise Claire, I'm ok. I'm just tired. Watch the rest of the movie."

Looking at him a moment longer, she smiled again, "Ok. But Qwil go sweep." One of her little hands started pushing on his face until he was lying down on the couch. He laughed and tickled her. Her high squeal-like giggle pierced the air and she tried to get to his sides to tickle him back. One of their famous Quil vs. Claire where Claire always wins despite being ten weight classes below Quil fights ensued.

Claire fell asleep sucking her thumb not long after. Their wrestling matches always tired her out. She used the pillow for a bit but soon latched onto his arm instead. Quil looked down at her angelic cuteness and sighed. He knew he should take her back to Emily's. After about eight she would start getting worried. It was a little after 7:30 but he didn't want to give her up yet.

To an outsider, he knew it probably looked creepy—a seventeen-year-old spending all of his free time babysitting a three-year-old. A few months ago he'd have thought it weird too. But he didn't love her that way. There was a feeling in the way back of his mind that maybe someday but there was nothing even remotely romantic now. Now _that_ would have been creepy. No, he was just, as Jacob so aptly put it, the much-abused nanny. He was perfectly fine with that role. As long as he was with her.

Claire was kind of like oxygen. She was that great, head-clearing breeze that you got right down by the water. She made you smile. When he wasn't with Claire it was like he was on top of a mountain. He was still alive; there was a little oxygen, but little enough that you got a headache. He wanted to get his fill of oxygen while he could.

Reluctantly, he picked her up and slipped one of the four green rocks she'd made him find then had given to him as a present into her little backpack. Wrapping her coat around her, he went out the door to walk the half a mile or so to Emily's. He didn't know how he was going to do this.

Emily had accidentally let it slip to Claire's mom that she hadn't been the one doing most of the babysitting. Claire's mom, originally just thankful for the cheap labor being a single mom, didn't know Quil and so that naturally made her freak a bit. But Emily had explained it away. It wasn't until Claire began talking about Quil as much as she did and she mentioned 'Qwil and Unca Emby and Unca Jake turning into woofs that went oooouuuuuu' did she really freak. Emily didn't know what exactly to tell her. There were no rules on how to break the 'yeah, hey, I'm a werewolf of sorts' news to an imprint's parents when she was that young.

Seeing that Claire and her mother were both Makah, close relatives with the Quileutes, Emily had decided on the truth. She figured that Claire's mother would know the stories and after initial shock be ok with it, like she had been. Turned out that Claire's mom was not so accepting of the semi-feral wolf-boy watching her daughter because he had a soul mate connection to her. Now, Claire's mom had made her decision.

She was taking Claire and moving across the country and threatened to blab if she saw hide or hair of Quil or any of the others. She was going to make them disappear so Claire would forget all about him.

That was how Quil had met Claire's mom. He was bringing Claire back to Emily's before going out to meet Sam in the woods for a patrol. He heard the screaming before they got through the door. Claire had looked up from where she held his hand walking. Her eyes were scared and she immediately hugged his leg. She didn't like any fighting except for her and the guys' play fighting. She had whispered, "I tink dat's my mommy."

He retook her hand and convinced her to keep going. As they entered the room, her mom's eyes darted from Emily to him. They immediately narrowed and had he not been practically invulnerable from harm he would have feared for his life. She ran forward and snatched her daughter, ignoring the protests coming from the child. "Stay away from her!" she screamed at him.

With that she had grabbed the waiting bag he held out for her with all of Claire's stuff and stomped out of the house. He looked to Emily with questioning eyes and she explained. He felt like his sun had just been extinguished. She reached forward and gave him a warm hug, tears running down her scarred face as she apologized, "I'm so sorry, Quil. I shouldn't have told her. I'm sorry."

He hugged her back, telling her it was ok. Then he went outside. He stripped off his clothes and for a split second phased. "Sam, please don't make me go today," he begged, letting a bit of the conversation leak to Sam. He didn't wait for a response before phasing back. He didn't want them all to get to watch this movie of his thoughts just yet. He didn't want them to know how pathetic he was and how he felt like just going off in a corner and sobbing.

Somehow Emily had managed to convince Claire's mom to let Claire stay a weekend with her before they left a week later. The woman protested that she wasn't mad at Emily. That 'freak' just couldn't get near her daughter. Emily had vehemently assured her that wouldn't happen. As soon as she dropped Claire off, Emily drove the girl to Quil's house.

Emily was claiming her the last day, well they were all going to spend time with the little girl but she gave Quil that entire day. And now as he walked back, the day was ending. His last day with Claire. How in the hell was he going to live without her? Emily gave him a sad smile as she took the sleeping girl. Sam came up behind her and motioned for Quil to come in.

Quil and the others were always welcome without any motion needed but Quil was on autopilot. He needed nudging and prodding just to eat, unless Claire was around. As soon as Emily had taken her upstairs, Sam questioned, "How're you doing?"

Quil shrugged, not answering. He didn't exactly know how to answer.

Sam nodded, "Yeah, I guess I'd probably be like that, too. Hey, just making sure, you're not mad at Emily for this or anything are you? You know she's really sorry. She completely blames herself."

Quil shook his head; a bit shocked Sam would even think so. Then again, Quil hadn't phased in that week either so Sam wouldn't know for sure. "No, no not at all. I know she didn't do it on purpose or anything. It was going to have to happen sometime, I guess. I just…I wish she would understand. She looked at me like I was a child molester or something."

He got a sympathetic nod, "Yeah, I guess not everybody can be as good with weird as we are." 

Quil didn't dare let Claire's mom see him around when she came to pick up her daughter. He hid in the woods, a wolf for the first time in that week. He didn't hear any of the others' voices so they were all apparently staying human for him. He was grateful. Claire didn't know what was going on. She hugged Emily like she would any other time she left but then his heightened hearing caught her next words.

"But mommy, wherew's Qwil. I say bye to him. Mommy!" Her mom didn't answer and instead just picked her up and carted her to the car. The little girl looked frantically around, "Qwil! Qwil! QWIL!" She was still yelling his name as the door cut off her. He ran alongside the car, staying out of sight. The others heard a far-off howl fifteen minutes later.

Sam sighed, "We won't run a patrol tonight. Let him be." He hugged the now sobbing Emily. 

Claire woke up in her car seat. She asked happily, forgetting her annoyance from yesterday, "Awar we going to Emily's?"

"No baby, you're never going over there again. Mommy and you are moving. We're going to a place called Maryland. It's far, far away. Won't that be fun?" She smiled at the toddler in her rear view mirror.

Claire frowned, "No. I want Qwil and Emiwy and Unca Sam and Emby and Jake and Sef and Jayred and Pawl."

"No, honey. You're not going to see them again. Mommy isn't going to let them get you. Never again. It's for your own good."

Claire looked at her with her big, little girl eyes, confusion clouding them. She didn't understand. Why? Why were they going away? Never? She didn't like the sound of never. Qwil was her best friend. How could she go away _forever_? Her little hands began searching for something to hold. She grabbed her backpack and rummaged around. She found one of the green rocks.

Her bottom lip began to tremble. Qwil had gotten those for her. She began to cry. At first tears just slid down her face but then she began full force, echo through the car, tantrum-worthy crying.

"QWIL!"


	2. Root Searching

A/N: Woot, people actually seem to like this. I'm very happy now. Thanks to reviewers. So, the rest of the story is in Claire's POV. The chapters are kind of long so if that's annoying just let me know and I'll cut them down. Thanks!

* * *

><p>I pulled my mid-back length, black hair back into a ponytail at a stoplight on my way to work on that Thursday in November. I could remember three months ago and driving into the city for the first time. <p>

I was beginning my last two years of college at the University of Washington. I, being a self-proclaimed super-nerd during high school, had taken as many classes as I could. I'd gotten enough credits done and over with between the school year and summers at the local community college back in Annapolis that I was a junior-freshman type of thing.

I remember sighing as I looked at myself in the rear view mirror. But after a moment it was painfully obvious that it was a happy sigh. A final bout of homesickness was hitting but I knew it wouldn't last long. I wasn't going to miss home _at_ _all_.

My mom and me were not…close. After the perpetually single woman had gotten remarried when I was eight, we had kind of progressively grown apart. It didn't help when she began having other children to take up her time as well. My step-father, Robert, had always tried his best to keep me included but as I became a teenager, I didn't really cooperate. I appreciated the gesture but just didn't fit. I vehemently resented the 'emo' label my mom gave me. Ok, I was a teenager there was a degree of emo-ness but she looked at me like she needed to hide the knives whenever I wore a black shirt.

I had always had the weird feeling that my real family was out there somewhere and not here. It was the weirdest thing but I had managed to bury it somewhat through high school. I was one of those people who didn't connect with mass amounts of people well. I had a few really good friends but other than that kept to myself, my homework, my music and my sketch pad.

That sketchpad was lying on the passenger seat of my appropriately beat-up Honda Civic. The green car had been my sixteenth birthday present, courtesy of Robert I always suspected. I had one of those old, slobbery dog relationships with the car. It was ugly and annoying but you loved it anyway. I couldn't complain; the thing had gotten me across the country from Maryland to Washington. From my mom to freedom.

The leg through Washington was my favorite. I knew that I'd been born there but mom never told me about it. She never said why we'd moved or where we had lived before exactly. Annoyingly, I couldn't remember anything about it. As far as my memory reached I'd just always lived in Annapolis. But the more curious I became the tighter mouthed mom was. She refused to tell me anything about before I was four years old. "I moved us here for a reason, so just leave it be, Claire!"

She had thrown a Disney movie, evil-stepmother worthy fit when I showed her my acceptance letter to the University of Washington. If Robert hadn't stepped in I thought she might've had a seizure. "No! NO, I absolutely forbid it! You are not going anywhere near Washington. Uh uh, if you go there then you're not coming back. Do you hear me? Never! I won't have you bringing anything back with you. I forbid it!"

Jeez mom, way to encourage making your own decisions. You'd have thought I'd just told her that I was going and joining the mafia or something. Well, I guess it would have had to be the 'emos who cut themselves' mafia. That's the _only_ place I would fit in. I just couldn't understand why she had a personal vendetta against the entire state.

I'd come up with hundreds of possible explanations over the years but had shrugged them all off. None of them really made sense, nor as our relationship soured did I particularly care. My mom's reaction had prompted a fascination with the state, if at first only because she hated it. The farther I drove along the forested highways the more I felt like I was coming home. I couldn't get over how it could be overcast and misting and I didn't feel depressed at all. I wasn't even a big rain person and I just wanted to get out of the car and spin around in the falling liquid.

The feeling hadn't gone away after I'd settled. My roommate Aubrey had gotten to the point of merely rolling her eyes and watching as I bounded down the two flights of stairs to stand on the lawn, spreading my arms wide and upturning my closed eyes to the sky every time it started to mist. My boyfriend Colin pretended he didn't know me whenever I did it in public. 

Pulling into bistro where I worked, I reluctantly turned the key and killed the radio. I continued humming as I skipped to the back. See where did the emo thing come from? I'm bubbly. I watched Disney movies when sad for crying out loud! After pulling on my apron, I put a hand to my neck, fixing my necklace.

I never took that necklace off except to shower and swim. Nobody ever understood why and I didn't really either. It wasn't fancy. It was just a plain silver chain and my green rock. I'd made it in third grade. I carried the green rock with me everywhere when I was little but as I started school I'd almost lost it a few times. After a week without it I made my decision. I asked Robert if he would help. We drilled a hole through it the long way and coated it with a clear lacquer. I slipped the silver chain on and I hadn't removed it since.

Making sure the stone was in the center, I took my place at the register. Half way through my coffee aroma filled evening, a woman came into the store. I subconsciously was startled by her. She was probably mid-fifties or early sixties but still very pretty. She struck me because, well, she kinda looked like me. Her skin was a bronze tinted copper, her white teeth glowing against her skin when she smiled at me to order. There were wrinkles and some grays in her otherwise jet black hair but the facial structure was so familiar. It was a bit creepy actually.

Thankfully she didn't notice my complete inability to not look like she was some kind of undead banshee or something. "A large black coffee with two sugars and a medium mocha latte with whipped cream, please."

All but physically shaking my shock away, I managed to punch that in and reply with a smile, "Anything else?"

She still looked at the menu, considering before inquiring, "What's the best kind of muffin here?"

Total no-brainer there. I lived off that place's muffins. Actually, I lived off muffins in general. "The mixed berry, hands down. It's good even without honey."

"Oh, my husband Charlie will definitely appreciate the honey. I'll take one of those too, please." After rummaging in her purse and coming out with a billfold, she looked to me for the first time.

"That's $6.20, please." The creeped out feeling came back. This time she was staring at me like I had suddenly acquired facial polka dots or something. I always thought that saying a person had grown extra limbs was so overdone. Anyhow, she didn't look away as she slowly handed me a ten dollar bill.

I gave her a tight smile. "I'll get that for you right away." I tried not to look but when I snuck a glance as I grabbed the coffee, she was still staring. Maybe she was just as amazed by the resemblance as I was. Yeah, I told myself, that's it. She's not a creepy serial killer who has just been scouting for her next victim.

I am also occasionally dramatic. I think it came from watching too many princess movies.

When I handed her the coffees and muffin in a bag, she lingered for a moment. Smiling a bit anxiously she asked, "Excuse me for asking but what tribe are you?"

Oh thank God, that's a no on the serial killer! I shook my head, "I don't know. My mom never told me. I was born here in Washington and so was she though so I'm guessing from one of the tribes here." Truth be told, I hadn't thought about that for awhile. High school had been busy and I just had to deal with being 'Squaw' to everyone. The joys of being the only Native American who looked it in the school. Now that she brought it up, I was curious.

She studied me for a minute more, "I know this is going to sound kind of weird, but your facial structure looks local to me. What's your name?"

"Claire, Claire Allen."

I thought I saw her smile falter just a bit but she held out her hand, "Sue Swan." While I shook it, I was pleasantly surprised by how actually happy it made me that our skin matched. It sounded stupid to me at the time even but it was nice to find someone that I fit in with, even if it was just skin tone. My mom was Satan's mistress. Her skin didn't count.

"Here." She dug around in her large purse again. Pulling out a notepad and pen she scribbled something quickly down. "This is one of our tribal elder's name and address. He knows everybody and I'm sure he could help you if you ever want to do a little root searching. If he's not at home then just wander around the rez and ask for me."

I didn't understand why she was doing all this for me but I took the note anyway. Her eyes were so sincere. I was having one of those Hallmark moments where a stranger helps you out for no particular reason but just being nice. I was touched. A grin spread across my face, "Thank you so much."

Sue nodded before gathering her coffees, "You're welcome."

"Have a good night!" I called after her as she pushed the door open with her back. I picked up the note but, as my boss came out, quickly stuffed it into my apron and began wiping down the counter.

The note scraped at my curiosity the rest of the night until I was in my Civic at eleven after close. Feeling oddly secretive, I looked around behind me before I pulled it out of my Cinderella purse. Yeah, I bought purses in the girl's section of Wal-mart. I also had two Tinkerbell ones, a Jasmine, a Belle, a Snow White backpack, and a Sleeping Beauty one too. Princesses, me, love: enough said.

Sue had old school handwriting. The flowing, beautiful kind that you wished you had but the schools didn't teach anymore. I didn't admire it as long as I might have otherwise. I read it twice, for some reason committing it to memory.

Billy Black

115 C Road, La Push Reservation

A bit back from the road, red house.

The store means you've gone too far.

La Push sounded oddly familiar to me. It was a faraway echo of a distant memory. I had heard it before I just didn't know how or why. If Sue was right maybe that's where I'd lived the first three years of my life. Excitement started growing exponentially and I knew that I had to go. This was quite possibly my history, my roots, my identity. Maybe that family I'd missed having could be found again.

That thought surprised me, as well as how much I wanted it to be true. I never felt that my lack of close family was a big deal. Yeah, it sucked and I got occasionally jealous when Aubrey and I went to the mall and I saw mothers and daughters laughing and talking as they shopped. The daddy-daughter songs played at weddings made me cry and a dull ache sprang up but I always got over it.

I shook the confusion off as I put the car in drive and went home to my dorm. I put the note safely in my billfold before locking the car and tiredly trudging up the steps. I opened the door and found Colin and Aubrey where I usually did. I had met him through Aubrey so them alone in our dorm room wasn't weird or anything. Aubrey was lying on her bed doing her nails and Colin was playing on her X-box.

Aubrey immediately smiled and exclaimed, "Hey," when I walked in. I fought to hide the pain when Colin gave me a sideways nod, not looking up from the screen.

He'd been doing that more and more often. We had only been dating a little over six weeks but I was falling for him. He had a smile that made me grin and he was sweet…at least when he noticed me. We liked quite a few of the same things. He could keep up when I ranted about the stupidity of reality TV. He was perfect and when he asked me out I was paralyzed with shock and ecstasy.

I'd always thought he was cute. His blonde hair was tipped with black and covered one of his eyes. All right, he had an emo haircut. At parties or when Aubrey and all her other friends hung out, he had always taken time to talk to me. Once Aubrey had found out that I had a bit of a crush on him, I suspected she'd told him. She was insistent that he liked me back and he asked me out a few weeks later.

Seeing that most of the boys in high school didn't know my name wasn't Squaw, I didn't have any boyfriends. My dates to prom and homecoming were my guy friends from academic clubs who were unable to talk to any girls but me. I was so busy scheming on ways to get the hell out of the state that I didn't focus on my love life. But after I got to college it dawned on me that I'd never really been in love and that bothered me.

The princesses always got their prince and I was ready to look for mine. I didn't think I loved Colin yet but I was willing to see if I could. He was just starting to make it hard. I clung to the fact that he liked me enough to ask me out in the first place when he ignored me like that.

Dropping my stuff, I grabbed my Tinkerbell pajamas and headed to the girl's bathroom to change. Colin and I were so not to the point where I was comfortable being near naked around him. When we made out, I got the feeling that my reluctance annoyed him but that was one thing I was not budging on. I liked self-respect. We got along well together. 

At lunch the next day, I brought up my meeting with Sue. Aubrey, always ready for a good story, leaned forward and asked, "So are you going to go?"

"Yeah. It never really bothered me before but now I really wanna know where I come from."

Colin snorted from behind his Game Boy. "Why? Who cares whose teepee you were born in? It won't change anything, Claire Bear."

If nothing else, Colin was a live-for-the-present kind of person. That was just him…stating how he would've handled it. But still…no stereotyping and insult there, huh. And why did he insist on calling me Claire Bear? I'd told him tons of times not to. It wasn't that I didn't like it but I had this vague memory of someone else calling me that and it just felt wrong when he did it.

Aubrey reached across the table and smacked the side of his head, "Shut up, if that's what you're gonna say. Just because you're embarrassed you're French and don't let anybody know doesn't mean she doesn't want to know her ancestors!" She turned back to me, her eyes telling me to go on. I couldn't help but smile. I knew there was a reason she'd become my best friend.

"You're going home to Olympia for fall break next week, right?"

She nodded, "Yeah, my mom's been begging me to stay the whole two weeks so I'll probably be gone the whole time."

"I'll probably drive down there then. The bistro is closing because Maggie is going to New York to see family and she doesn't trust any of us to run it while she's gone. Two weeks'll give me some time to poke around and stuff." She nodded again, liking the plan.

"No you're not." We both looked toward Colin in surprise. Unconsciously, I reached up and began absently braiding my hair. I'd done that ever since I could remember. It kept me calm when I knew arguments were going to happen, especially when I was going to be involved. He closed the lid to the game for the first time since we'd sat down a half hour before. "You have to come with me to the gaming tournament in Portland. You already said you'd come."

Uh, no, I'd said I would think about it. I had said I didn't know why he wanted me to come. I'd said he should stop pushing it when I wouldn't be able to do anything. I'd said I didn't want to go just to sit around and hold his spare controller. _That's_ what I'd said.

I tried to smile, "But I won't be able to do anything, babe. You said yourself that you're completely in the zone at those things. You won't even notice me there."

"You're my girlfriend you should support me." He said it as if it was the most natural thing in the world and there was no context surrounding it.

My braiding quickened, "Colin, I also told you that I don't have the money for a hotel room for a week either. I promise I'll call you everyday and you can tell me all about it when you get back. I'll even kiss your controller for good luck if that's what you want."

His eyes rolled at me and his expression clearly said I was an idiot, "You don't need your own room. You'll stay in mine. Why do you want to do some stupid tribe searching when you can cheer me on instead?"

"It's not some stupid tribe searching, Colin." Dammit, why didn't I have longer hair? I needed more to braid. Putting a tie around the big one, I started on the layers around my face. "I'm going to La Push to see if this guy can help me out."

His eye-linered green eyes narrowed at me before he got up. "You're a horrible fucking girlfriend." Slinging his backpack over his shoulder he stomped away in a huff. Ok, emo haircut totally being representative today. As I glared after him I realized that I should be hurt that he said that. I wasn't. I was mad, disappointed.

Before I could analyze further Aubrey cut in with what sounded like forced hope in her sympathetic tone. "He doesn't really mean it. You know how he is with his stupid video games. Just go. He'll get over it." She glanced at her phone and cringed. "Crap, I've got a class in five minutes. I'll see you back at the room later?" I nodded, smiling faintly. With that she took off.

I wandered around campus for the rest of the afternoon. I only had one class on Friday and I was free for the next two weeks. Colin was just being a bit emo, right? He didn't really mean it. He couldn't. And what was with staying in the same room? I'd told him time and again that I wasn't comfortable with that. He'd been a good boy so far and after I'd move it once when we made out, his hand would stay away from my pants. Why was he suddenly thinking I'd stay in a hotel room with him for two weeks…?

'Who cares whose teepee you were born in?' What was all that about? He'd made a passing joke or two about me being a Native American. To him I was Claire and not Squaw, except once or twice or a dozen times jokingly, so I shrugged them off. I'd been through much, much worse but this time it was just mean. He complained because I was supposed to be supporting him but why wasn't he supporting me with something that seemed way more important in the long run than a gaming tournament? I sighed and looked up to the sky.

"Please rain." I was raised Christian but at that moment I felt that Mother Earth was comforting me because not five minutes later it began to pour. Forgetting about Colin for a few moments, I went through my ritual. I let the raindrops caress my face as they fell to the earth. They just made me feel whole, clean…just better.

I'd forgive Colin by that night. I always did. I was too grateful he wanted me at all to stay mad. Even so, after getting satisfyingly soaked I walked slowly back to the dorm with a smile. After curling up in one of my many Tinkerbell blankets, I put _Aladdin_ into my laptop and threw on some headphones. 

Colin didn't come by that night or the next. He was still just pouting according to Aubrey. Like I knew I would, I'd forgiven him and his ignoring me started to hurt my feelings. He texted me to tell me he was leaving in a half hour Sunday morning. I replied "Bye". He didn't answer all day.

Aubrey headed off early Sunday morning as well. She hugged me, "Don't worry about Colin. He's just being emo."

"I've noticed." We laughed and I continued, "Have fun."

With that I was alone. Now during high school, I was perfectly fine with alone. I could do alone for days. But I'd gotten used to having people around here. Even if she wasn't saying anything, it was still nice just having Aubrey in the room. The same with Colin. Although, Aubrey usually interacted with me more than him anymore.

I made it until noon before I made up my mind to leave. After showering, I grabbed a duffle bag and just randomly threw clothes and shoes in. I went to my closet and spent a good twenty minutes deciding on a purse. I decided on Jasmine. She was the defiant princess. She sounded good at the time. I was just about to walk out before I noticed my sketchbook on my dresser.

I'd stopped drawing as often as I used to. Colin once stole the book from me and laughed. I never let anybody look at it for that reason. I'd never thought I was very good and wanted to stay in blissful ignorance. Colin hadn't let me. According to him they weren't dark enough. My fairies, faces, wolves and other animals didn't mean anything. They needed to have a point. Mine were dumb. I hadn't picked up the sketchbook in the month since he said that.

But this time I grabbed it and a handful of drawing pencils. Colin wasn't there and I missed it, even if the results did suck. After locking up the door, I hauled my bags down the narrow stairway and out to my car. A print out from Google Maps was in my hand and there was no way I was stopping now. Claire was going on an adventure, even if it only meant finding an elder guy.

I got an hour or so out of the city when fog rolled in. That wasn't really out of the ordinary but it made everyone adhere to the unwritten rule of going fifty. According to good old Google, La Push was roughly two hundred miles away. Map reading really isn't one of my strong points so I got lost twice. I pulled into a town called Forks around eight-thirty.

Two hundred miles in seven and a half hours, Claire. Astounding.

It was worth it. Seattle occasionally made you forget about all the trees. The entire drive I was just in this arboreal tunnel and I loved it. I could see the huge pines through the fog and then the stars came out after it cleared away. I could have driven along that forever.

My tired old Civic pulled up to a diner and I got out. I was already missing muffins. Aside the waitress, there were only two people in the establishment. I got the small town once over as I sat down. I devoured the cheeseburger after I ordered. If I was preoccupied I forgot to eat. Being mad at myself about Colin and then the drive equaled preoccupied.

After I got up to pay the check, the waitress asked, "You headed down to the Quileute reservation, La Push?"

I nodded with a smile, "Yep, could you tell me which way it is?"

She pointed to the southwest, "There's a sign. Kinda hard to find in the dark but you'll be fine. You know, you kinda look like Emily Uley. Are you related to her?"

I shrugged, "She doesn't sound familiar." The name Emily rang some long ago bell, kind of like La Push had though.

Shrugging the woman turned away, "Just saying. Have a nice night."

"You, too." Ok, apparently I not only looked like Sue Swan but also an Emily Uley. The prospects of finding where I'd been born were beginning to look better than ever. I tried to follow her directions but me, the dark, rain, hidden signs, and roads didn't really go together well. After forty-five minutes of driving rather aimlessly I decided to save my gas. Pulling off onto the side of the road, I let my Civic rest. It was too late to be polite if I showed up on Billy Black's door anyway. My life revelations could wait for tomorrow… Ah, the irony in innocent thoughts.

I pushed the center console up and used my duffle bag as a pillow. The rain poured down harder on the roof of the car, lulling me to sleep along with my iPod. 

The rain hadn't let up by the time I woke up the next morning at 10:30. Instead of the sun waking me, I could've sworn I saw a pair of gigantic brown eyes staring through my window at me. Strange dreams were nothing new to me so I didn't really think much of it. Weird things happened in my groggy moments of the morning. For some reason, here elicited dreams of really big wolves running back into the forest after looking into my car.

I realized after a moment of stretching and hitting my knees on the steering wheel, that I had no way to change clothes. Well, that is just some efficient preparedness there Claire. The boy scouts would be proud. I sighed but then shrugged. Nobody had driven by on this road last night as far as I knew. I was a heavy sleeper except when it came to light. I even had to cover up the clock on my stereo or I couldn't sleep and there little pieces of tape over all the lights on my power-strips.

I highly doubted that anyone would come by in the two minutes it took for me to change. I took another look out to the road and forest. Ok, Claire, even if it's a little gross you're not changing your underwear today. Crawling and then falling headfirst into the backseat, I took refuge behind smaller windows. Rubbing my aching head, I dug through my clothes. As I randomly pulled out both a dressy babydoll shirt and a cut-off t-shirt, it occurred to me that I had no idea what to wear to see an elder.

I figured that I didn't need to go all job interview style but was a t-shirt good enough? Was there some protocol I needed to follow here? Looking from one shirt to the other I groaned. FML. I had kind of an eclectic style to begin with, so a skill to figuring out the appropriate outfit was about as strong as map reading.

I pulled the whole bag into the back, defeating the purpose of getting leg room to change. I decided upon something that, for me, was in between dressy and lounge around the house. It was like semi-first date. Throwing my duffle back into the front was the only way I managed to change pants.

When I emerged from the backseat, this time smacking my boobs on the steering wheel, I felt a bit braver. I had chosen dark green skinny jeans, a black tank top, and one of my favorite hoodies. It had elbow length sleeves, buttoned from right below my ribs to my neck if I wanted, and was green and dark grey striped.

Yes, there's a pattern emerging. Green car, green jeans, green rock, and green nail polish…need I go on? Green was my favorite color, always had been.

After pulling my black hair back into a braid, I managed to shove my feet into my black, vine-designed Vans. After swiping on some mascara and eyeliner, I looked down to make sure my necklace was just right. My usual girly, yet slightly abnormal, get-ready ritual was then done and I felt ready. I put the key back in the ignition and pulled out onto the road.

Now that I was all ready all I had to do was find La Push and then Billy Black's house…oh great.

It was eleven-thirtyish when I found the sign the woman had spoken about. A little hard to find…stupid normal people and their directions. They have no mercy for the directionally disinclined. It was another fifteen miles or so down the road from Forks. The road came upon the coast before the reservation. I immediately stopped and just stared for a long moment. Ok, I was really glad I'd brought my sketchbook. I grabbed it and threw it in my Jasmine purse along with a good pencil. It was positively gorgeous out here. Portland had nothing on this.

That thought only reminded me that Colin hadn't texted or called me since the day before. I sighed and got back in my car. I continued down the road and houses slowly started to appear. I knew it was a town of some kind but everything was spread out nicely. Everybody had their own space but you still got the neighbor effect. It was better than the row house I'd lived in back in Annapolis. Here was pretty.

I was about to dig out Sue's note again, despite knowing exactly what it said, when I saw the first road sign. Fate, apparently not wanting to be a heartless bitch that day, decided to bless me. I'd found C Road. I turned left and began looking for a red house. I almost missed it but the VW Rabbit in the driveway caught my eye. When I glanced up at the house I saw that it was even 115. I almost squealed.

Apparently I had a weird laugh. Colin always rolled his eyes and it just made Aubrey laugh harder. When I truly thought something was funny, when it was giggle worthy, my laugh was very shrill. It was high pitched and sounded like I was being tickled. Robert said I'd laughed like that as long as he could remember, too.

My car almost got lost in one of the potholes in the driveway but I parked opposite the Rabbit. Taking another deep breath, I grabbed Jasmine and climbed out. Ignoring the mud and rain, I walked up the ramp to the porch and knocked. It took a long minute or two but finally the door opened. A man about the same age as Sue was behind the screen. Had he not been in a wheelchair I thought he would have been a good six inches taller than me.

Then, when not in heels, everyone was at least six inches taller than me. The beauty of being a whole 5'3".

His black hair was pulled back into a half ponytail. His temples were sprinkled with grey and white hair. His gaze was sharp but somehow welcoming as well. "Can I help you?"

Internally chastising myself for staring, I smiled, "Yeah. I met Sue Swam in Seattle a few days ago and she gave me your address. She said she thought I was probably from a tribe around here and since I know pretty much nothing about my history she said that you were the person to ask."

He pushed the screen open and held out his hand, "Hi, I'm Billy Black."

I shook it, "Claire Allen." The same slight fall of his expression that I saw with Sue happened when I mentioned my last name. I didn't really think much of it at the time.

He wheeled himself back and motioned past him, "Come on in. Try to ignore the mess. My son, Jacob, doesn't get around to picking up much and my cleaning abilities are kind of… constrained."

"Sir, I'm a college student. I have clean and dirty clothes piles instead of dresser drawers."

Laughing at my remark, he shook his head, "It's just Billy, please sit down." I grabbed a pair of guy's athletic shorts and set them beside me so I wouldn't have to sit on them. Billy just shook his head in slight embarrassment. He took a long look at me and nodded, "You do look like you'd be from around here." Noticing what I guess was probably an uncomfortable look, he smiled, "I know it's like I'm comparing you to a horse or something, trying to figure out which breed. If you know what to look for though, all the Pacific Northwest tribes have some of the same features."

"Yeah, looking at Sue was kind of like looking into an aged mirror of myself. It was kind of creepy. Not that Sue isn't still gorgeous and all but…" Nice Claire, insult one of this friends and neighbors before you're there ten minutes. That's gonna help.

Billy didn't seem to mind though, "Don't worry, I know what you mean. So, you don't know which tribe you're from at all?"

"No. My mom would never say and she never told my step-dad. I never knew my father either so I'm kind of lost. I just know that I was born in Washington and so was my mom." I laughed a bit sarcastically, "I figured out I was Native American because in second grade somebody said I looked like Pocahontas."

His face had turned pensive. "So, your real last name isn't Allen?"

"No, it's Young."

For a second, I thought I'd given the man a heart attack. His wrinkled, copper face paled and had he been able to stand I'm sure he would have fallen down. I wasn't sure whether to get up and help him or stay put. He stuttered out before I could decide, "What's-what's your mom's name?"

"Linda."

Then suddenly, the largest, goofiest, happiest smile I had ever seen on a person. "Claire Young. Oh my God, Claire Young. Claire, this is probably going to sound odd but I know exactly who you are. You're of the Makah tribe, very close cousins to this one. You used to live here."

"Seriously? I-I lived here. This is where I'm from?" He nodded and I felt myself begin shaking. It started in just my hands but after a moment my whole body was trembling.

Billy rolled forward and asked, "Do you mind if I hug you? You probably don't remember me or anything but I just…it's been a long time."

Truth be told, I wanted nothing more than to hug him at that point. I didn't know finding out was going to affect me so much. To begin with I'd thought it would just be some good knowledge to have. Get my background, know a bit of my history but I knew where I was from. I had _lived_ here. Here, in this gorgeous place. And this man had known me!

I got up and threw my arms around his shoulders, suddenly becoming so emotional I wanted to cry. I blinked back the tears as her wrapped his strong arms around me. "Wow, I honestly thought that we'd never see you again after your mom moved you. She didn't tell any of us where she was going or anything. It all happened in less than a week. She just up and left when you were about three. We were all were heartbroken to see you go."

I wiped a blinking eye and nodded, "Yeah that sounds like my mom. Other people's feelings aren't really in her realm of comprehension."

"By my astounding perceptive skills, I'm getting the vibe you don't get along anymore."

I laughed with a shake of my head, "No. I was practically disowned when I got accepted to the University of Washington. She hates Washington for some reason." He was silent, as if thinking, when I asked, "Umm, if you don't mind me asking, who's we? Do I have any family here or anything?"

Billy nodded, "Yes, you sure do. Emily Uley is your cousin. Before she was married she was Emily Young."

Ok, so this is good. Apparently we look alike because we're related. I could so deal with this!

"So by default, you're related to her husband Sam and their two kids. The rest of us were, I guess, not your relatives but your family if you understand what I mean." I nodded. I felt bad because I couldn't remember him, or the others, but the fact that I had once loved them and they had once loved me was still mind-blowing.

We sat there in his living room for the remainder of the afternoon. He told me all about the two tribes' histories and their legends and how I had fit into the group. I sat there riveted and fascinated the entire time. I honestly couldn't get over my luck at actually having him know me.

Ok, fate I'm sorry that I called you a bitch.

He'd just finished one of the founding legends of the Quileutes. It explained their connection to wolves and how whenever the vampiric 'Cold Ones' were around some of the warriors became spirit warriors with wolves. They could turn into gigantic wolves at will and were strong enough to fight the Cold Ones.

"Weird, I've always loved wolves. They're my favorite animal. I've been drawing them since I was a kid."

A strange look crossed his face but then faded like a ghost. "No doubt you picked up on them here. Emily babysat you all the time when your mom was working. She's got quite a few paintings and stuff. Do you draw?"

Unconsciously tightening a protective grip on my purse, I nodded, "Yeah, a bit. They're not very good but I've always done it."

That didn't seem to bother him, "Can I see?"

My hesitation clearly showed but in the end I decided to show Billy. He had so far been wonderful and even if the drawings were crap, I got the feeling that he would have praised them anyway. I already had this father-like vision of him. I opened my purse and pulled out the pad. Before he saw it he smirked, "You still like princesses?"

"Yeah. I never grew out of them. Why?"

"You loved princesses when you were little. Your third birthday was princess themed. You wouldn't take the tiara Qui…Emily and the others gave you for a week."

I wasn't sure what this 'Qui' was that I wasn't supposed to hear but I shrugged it off. I passed the pad, and what felt like my soul, to him. He turned the cover and I couldn't take it back then. I fidgeted there, subtly re-braiding my hair so I wouldn't reach out and grab it. I couldn't read his expression for the longest time.

"These are amazing, Claire," was the simple praise he gave. My heart still soared. Maybe Colin just had odd taste. He looked at them silently for almost a half hour, flipping through the last five years of my mind. He handed it back to me with a smile that faded when he looked out the window. Rain was again coming down and the world had grown dark.

"Would you like to stay for supper? It won't be much. I'll probably just order pizza because I'm a horrible cook but…"

I cut him off, "I can make something. It's the least I can do after all you've done for me today." With a grin I added, "I promise I'm not one of those college students who lives off Ramen." There was no way I was going to let him buy a pizza just because I was around. I'd taken his entire afternoon. I missed cooking anyway.

"If you're sure you don't mind…"

"No! It'll be great." I got up and followed his wheelchair to the kitchen, chatting as we went, "I haven't gotten to cook in a while. My boyfriend thinks it tastes bad and won't let me make anything for him which kind of defeats the purpose."

His steady pushes to make his chair go faltered for a split second. "You've got a boyfriend. What's his name?"

"Colin."

"How long if you don't mind me asking?"

"We're not too serious yet, just about six weeks."

For some reason that seemed to make Billy happier. "Ah. So, what do you feel like making?"

I started blindly opening cabinets and the fridge, inventorying what I had to work with. "How about macaroni and cheese from scratch with ham?" His grin was answer enough. I returned it, "Macaroni and cheese it is."

We continued to chat as I scurried around the kitchen per his directions. He'd be in the middle of a sentence and suddenly say bottom drawer or top shelf of the fridge then continue right on. I learned that his son Jake and a couple of his friends were attending the local community college, getting actual degrees finally. Jake was going to be a mechanic along with the others.

Jake hadn't been home for a while—he lived with his girlfriend's family—but they had just moved back to Forks.

"Is that his Rabbit then?" I queried with a motion out the window.

"Yes, he built it from scratch." It took him a moment but then he looked at me with surprise, "You know cars, Claire?"

"A bit. Change my own oil and U-joints and such. Most of my friends in high school were nerds like me and the boys in physics club loved cars. I took a semester of shop every year so I learned the ins and outs to get me by. I could never get timing belts or crank shafts right but I do all right."

"Oh, sweetie, it's not going to matter if you know how the engine works. They're going to love you just for knowing what it is."

He branched off on another conversational tangent. The feeling had returned. For first time since I could remember I felt at home. I hadn't realized how much I'd missed what I'd never had.

I was sitting up on the kitchen counter finishing my plate with Billy in his chair in the middle of the floor when I asked, "So where is Jake?"

"Oh, he's off staying with some of his friends. I swear the kid's never home." His paternal complaint made me smile. I did up the dishes with Billy protesting the entire time. At one point, I just looked at him with an eyebrow raised. After that he stopped fighting me on it.

I was his guest but I was going to do everything I could to pay him back.

Around ten that night, Billy looked at the clock and offered, "You're welcome to stay here tonight. Tomorrow I can take you to meet Emily if you want."

"Ok!" My face lit up like I was three again.

My reaction made him chuckle. "We don't really have a spare room so if you don't mind clearing the dirty clothes off, you can use Jake's bed." After I'd grabbed my things from the Civic he showed me down the short hall and swung open a door. Jake's room was about three-fourths of the size of my dorm room and covered floor-to-ceiling with car posters. My face fell a bit when I caught sight of the bed. There was a mountain of clothes.

"I'll get you the disinfectant."

I laughed, "Thanks Billy. Good night."

"Good night, Claire." He backed down a few doors and then stopped, "I'm very glad you're back, Claire."

I answered with complete sincerity, "Me, too."

I shut the door and turned to the bed once again. Jacob Black, you are a filthy, non-cleanliness oriented individual and… I can't wait to meet you.


	3. Finding Family

A/N: My inbox is getting more work today than in the entire time I've had it. It makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside. :) So, I decided to put this up. Let me know if there's any problems or if anyone has suggestions. Also, I just figured out page breaks so bear with me. Thanks!

* * *

><p>The next morning it was sunshine that woke me up. Groaning, I plopped Jacob's pillow over my head. Too early, too bright. But then I remembered.<p>

Claire, get your lazy booty up! You get to meet people today.

I scrambled up and looked at my phone. Still no messages. Ok, Colin you're taking this emo thing to an annoying level. I sighed and sent him one that said good morning. With my conscience cleared on the Colin front, I pulled open the door and padded down the hall in my pajamas. Billy looked up from his coffee and paper and a smirk came to his face. Noticing my bedraggled look he pointed to my left, "Shower's through that first door. You're welcome to use it."

"Thanks."

I was out of the shower and dressed in record time. I stuck with the same green jeans and shoes. But today I pulled on a white t-shirt with green polka dots. My hair went back into its braid. As soon as I was back in the kitchen I questioned, "So can we go yet?"

Smiling again, Billy nodded, "Sure. You'll just have to help me into your car."

Small price to pay for meeting your family. The Civic was a bit small but after unceremoniously shoving his wheelchair into the back, I shook off my annoyance and got in the driver's seat. I turned around in his yard and then followed his directions through the reservation. He pointed out anything he deemed important as we went.

He pointed to the right and said, "Their house is just up this road. It's kind of the universal meeting place so anybody you need to meet will probably be there." We were driving up another one of those gorgeous arboreal tunnels. The foliage loomed comfortingly overhead. Despite that, the closer we got the more nervous I became.

What if they didn't like me? What if I didn't like them? Oh come on, Claire after meeting Billy how could you not like them? What if they don't remember me? What if they're offended because I couldn't remember them?

Billy seemed to notice my anxiety because he smiled, "They're going to love you. They did all those years ago, nothing will have changed."

Was it just me or did he have a weird mind reading ability. Maybe along with the wolf shifting Quileutes could read minds and he just didn't want to tell me. As he gave me a sidelong grin, I couldn't put it out of the question.

I parked in the large driveway in front of the wood shingled house. Grabbing Jasmine and throwing my keys in, I went around to help Billy out. I'd never been weak and despite being short I could still heave him the foot from inside the car to his chair. I followed behind him to the doorbell.

A woman answered the door. My mouth dropped open but it wasn't because of the scars running down the right side of her face. The unharmed side of her face was like looking into a mirror. She looked about thirty five. I saw her mouth move but I couldn't hear anything. I was too caught up in shock.

Her gaze turned to me as I heard the distant rumble that was Billy's voice. Her face became even more mirrored to mine as she took on an overwhelmed expression. Without skipping a beat, she practically leapt forward and embraced me. I hugged her back and realized when my senses began working again that she was crying.

"Oh, I'm so happy you're back! I've missed you, Claire!"

Blushing, I admitted, "I can't remember you but I'm really glad to be here, too."

She heard the silent I'm sorry. "Oh, that's completely understandable. You were only three when you left. Come in! Come in!" Emily shepherded us into the house, then taking my hand, pulled me down into a chair beside her. She began asking question after question about _everything_ that had happened to me since I'd moved.

Even through some of the painful stuff, I didn't want to stop. Talking to Emily was amazing. She sat there and wanted to hear everything. It was odd. She hadn't seen me in fifteen years and yet she understood me perfectly.

We'd been there close to two hours and Billy had drifted off to play with her four-year-old twins, Abby and Harry. We both looked up toward the door at the same moment as a rumbling of laughter and voices sprang up. With a huge grin spreading across her face, Emily grabbed my hands again and pulled me to my feet. Excitement and love filled her voice to the brim when she exclaimed, "That's Sam and the boys. I can't wait for you to meet them again!"

She met Sam, or who I correctly inferred was Sam, at the door. He was huge. He towered above Emily at probably 6'8", muscles rippled through his bare chest and arms. As soon as I saw his face though, I felt like an intruder. There was so much love and tenderness in his eyes as he bent down and kissed first her mouth then her scars. It was like she was his light. I was frozen watching them, envy creeping into my every pore. Colin didn't look at me like that. Hell, he didn't even look at me anymore.

Stop whining, Claire.

Emily grabbed Sam's hand and pulled him into the room towards me, allowing eight other guys of varying ages to file in after him…None of them had shirts and they were all gorgeous!

Bad Claire! Bad, bad Claire.

They all looked at me with confusion, except for one who looked oddly familiar.

He seemed maybe a couple years older than me and wasn't as big as Sam but only an inch or two shorter. He was just as ripped but his frame was slightly bulkier. Not fat or anything, it just seemed that if they were sled dogs Sam would be the lead and this guy would be the wheel dog. His black hair was cut short with some natural spikes on the top. He had the most gorgeous dark, dark brown almost black eyes. And those eyes weren't confused. He was looking at me with the same look Sam had given Emily moments before. Oddly enough, it didn't freak me out either. I could only stare back until Emily's introduction interrupted my shameless staring.

"Guys, you all remember Claire, right?"

Every single jaw dropped. I looked from one to the other and back to Emily uncomfortably. My hand went up to absently play with my braid. Ok, this was getting a bit awkward…

See Claire, they really are mind readers and now they're all wondering why the hell you thought they were gorgeous. There you said it again dunce.

Emily continued, "There on the end is Paul, and then Seth, Jared, Collin, Brady, Embry, Quil, and Jacob. And this is my Sam." I noticed she paused when she reached Quil. He hadn't taken his eyes off of me yet. I felt myself blush.

It was then I realized that I was beginning to get a crick in my neck just trying to look all of them in the eye. Not one of them was shorter than 6'4". I smiled, "I'm going to get a sore neck just talking to you guys aren't I? No consideration for the small people whatsoever."

Jacob rushed forward and grabbed me in a huge bear hug that lifted me off the ground at least two feet. His happy, relaxed grin made me laugh instead of being creeped out. As soon as he put me down, I got much the same reaction from the others except Collin and Brady who both merely shook my hand. I guess they hadn't known me back then. Seth spun me around, Embry gave me a kiss on the cheek, Paul and Jared trapped me between them and Sam threw me up in the air with a smile.

My high-pitched giggle came out before I got through half of them, only making me blush more at sounding like a four-year-old. I didn't remember them but I was ecstatic they remembered me. And they were just happy people to begin with.

Seth was an absolute cutie and I couldn't imagine anything but a smile on his face. He was around my age and had already dubbed me midget by the time he put me down.

Jake seemed a bit older than me and had the same carefree attitude as Seth. I imagined I could see some darkness beneath the surface but all in all he seemed happy, despite the fact he kept looking toward the door, like there was someone he wanted to see.

Embry was quieter than the rest but seemed genuinely excited to see me. He and Jacob looked a lot alike age and attitude wise.

Paul seemed like the occasionally cranky one who always got over things quickly. Aubrey was like that sometimes. He seemed to be hovering around thirty.

Jared seemed the most mature after Sam. He struck me as about thirty. He seemed very joking but able to quit when necessary.

Sam was like a huge, steady rock. It occurred to me that smiles from him were probably scarce when he wasn't with Emily. He just had this no nonsense vibe that vanished when he looked at her.

After I'd been set down and had regained my footing I looked over at Quil. He was still paralyzed in place. I didn't think he'd moved an inch. In fact, the only way I could tell he was still alive was the occasional blinking of his eyes and his chest heaving. He looked like he was having an asthma attack of some sort.

Slipping her hand from Sam's, Emily turned around to her kitchen island and poured a glass of water. I saw her hand it to Quil as Sam smiled at me again, "Welcome home."

"Thanks."

Emily hurried back into the kitchen and with Sam's help got food on the table for everyone. The meal was filled with questions shot my way about anything and everything. It was the third time in twenty-four hours I'd had to retell my entire life story but I didn't really mind. Although, like the other two times I left out my freaky Einstein-ness. I wasn't about to say quite yet that I was two years ahead in college. I wasn't ashamed of being smart but I didn't go around bragging about it either.

Again, Quil was the only one who didn't interact with me. He sat next to me, and since we were squeezing twelve people around Emily's rather small table, we were pretty close. My knee was unconsciously touching his the whole meal.

After Jacob had told a joke in the middle of me drinking my milk and me spitting it all over my plate and Quil's, along with having some come out my nose, Seth turned to me, "So, midget, did you recognize any of us? Well, excluding Collin and Brady since you didn't know them."

I couldn't answer right away. Quil was holding out a napkin to me, a smile on his face that almost made my heart stop. Returning it with my own ridiculous grin and fighting a blush, I shook my head, "No. I feel really bad but I don't remember any of you. I didn't even know that I was from La Push until Billy told me yesterday. My mom never told me."

No, bad Claire. You have Colin. Stop it, Claire. Ignore the gorgeous excuse for a man next to you this instant!

It was probably just my imagination, but I thought Quil stiffened next to me as I mentioned my mom. But when I looked over at him his beautiful face had turned a tad sour. I laughed sarcastically and mentioned for his benefit, "And people wonder why I chose to put a country between us." The following silence had an unintended awkwardness.

* * *

><p>I spent the rest of the day with them. We went outside in one of the few days of sun and just hung out. I ended up talking with everyone and, while it was catching up to them, I acquired ten new friends, something of a personal record. I absolutely loved Abby and Harry. Abby and I discussed Disney princesses while Harry discovered a new game with me as a main player. Whenever I wasn't looking he ran up behind me and pulled on my braid, counting on me to chase him and spin him around.<p>

Quil was never very far from me but he still didn't talk. While Emily and I were making supper, I saw him drift over to Jake and Embry. While talking to them his eyes never left me. I wished I knew what they were saying.

Forgoing the cramped quarters around the table everyone just grabbed a spot somewhere in the dining room. I sat down on the stairs, back against the wall. Quil was only a few feet away at the foot of them.

This boy _will_ talk, I promised myself. He seemed really nice and was definitely nice to look at. Everyone else was amazing and I was becoming curious about him. Not only about whom he was but, also, why he had some aversion to talking to me. It was starting to tug at my feelings.

"Claire, what're you going to college for?" Sam asked from where he sat on the floor, Emily comfortably in his lap.

"I'm going to be a wildlife biologist." I smirked, "Emily, you'd be great at that. You cook for a bunch of animals every day as it is…Yes, Harry, I know you're a boy, not an animal. I'm not talking about you." We both laughed as various food items shot through the air toward me, most of them hitting Quil. Immediately feeling bad, I set down my plate and apologized, "Sorry about that, Quil." I tried to pick some of the potatoes out of his hair.

He looked up at me and looked about to say something when…my stupid phone rang. Why did I have to get service out here? Honestly! But I gave him another apologetic look before stepping over him and making my way toward the door, "Excuse me guys." I just stepped through the screen onto the sunset-lit porch, not knowing what kind of conversation was going to come next.

"Hello," I answered without really looking at the caller ID.

"_Why aren't you in Portland yet?"_ Ok, note to self, set Colin to have a personalized ring tone. My hand unconsciously went to my braid. This was not going to be good.

"Colin, honey, I'm _not_ going to Portland. I told you that." Stay calm, Claire. That's all you need to do. Stay calm and Colin will stop being emo and snap out of it.

"_Oh yes you are. Why do you think I texted you Sunday? You have to come. I told you, you need to support me. You missed the quarterfinals of Halo 2. What's wrong with you?"_ His tone kind of reminded me of Harry when he'd wanted an extra cookie at snack.

I bit back a sigh, "I'm sorry, babe. How did Halo 2 go?"

"_It was amazing! I got at least an extra hundred points every round because I'm such an amazing sniper. I'm going to the semis tomorrow which is why you need to get here. Just get over the hotel room thing. It's not like we haven't been dating long enough. Sex isn't _that_ big a deal. Where are you anyway? You're not doing that gay 'track your… that whatever you were gonna do?"_

Calm, calm, calm… Ok, yeah, calm just wasn't doing it for me.

My hands started shaking and my scalp hurt from tugging on my braid. "Yes, Colin, I'm finding out my teepee of origin! It's not gay. If you gave a damn you could've asked and I would have told you that I actually found out whose teepee! And no, I will not just get over the hotel room thing! And we haven't been dating _that_ long! I am not going to drive all the way to Portland to watch you play video games and spend two weeks in a hotel room with you. Dammit NO! NO! And NO!"

"_Hey, there's no need to be a bitch, Claire. You're the one who bailed on me. It's not my fault you decided to go soul-searching at a crappy time. And if you actually gave a damn about me you could've found out who I'm playing tomorrow and if I feel good about it or not! Isn't that what good, caring girlfriends are supposed to do?"_

I had to fight the urge to hang up very, very hard. He's right about being a good girlfriend, Claire. Just ask him and he'll get better. Once he gets back everything will be fine. Just keep him from being so emo…but he called me a bitch!

"Ok, I'm sorry I hurt your feelings. _Please_, just stop asking for me to go to Portland. It's not going to happen. So how is the-,"

He cut me off mid-sentence, "_Oh, some people want me to go out. I'll talk to you later, Claire Bear. And yeah, that's great about your teepee and crap."_

Before I could say bye he'd hung up on me. Again with the Claire Bear! My hands were shaking again as I snapped my phone shut. He just made me so, so mad! "Goddamn him!" He didn't understand. Why was he so dense and why did I care so damn much that he was disappointed in me. He had no reason to be but he was and it bothered me.

Forcing on what I knew was a pathetic excuse for a smile, I turned to see everyone staring at me. Looking toward Emily and Sam I said, "I'm gonna take a quick walk." They both nodded in understanding. "And Harry don't repeat what I said."

I shoved the phone in my jeans pocket and ran up their driveway. Around halfway to the road, I stopped and just screamed, the sound echoing eerily off the trees. I collapsed in a heap on the ground, my anger melting away into this pathetic confusion. I didn't notice the feet coming toward me until they'd stopped.

Quil asked, "You ok, Claire?"

I looked up with embarrassment and yet pleasure he was talking to me. "Yeah… yeah, I'll be fine."

Kneeling down in front of me he questioned, "You sure?"

"Of course," I began but the longer he stared at me the more I couldn't lie. There was too much true, pure concern in his eyes for me. "No, not really. My boyfriend, Colin, is being…difficult lately."

"Why?" I shrugged and looked down at the ground. I felt him sit down next to me with a rush of heat hitting me. He was so big I knew I could've fit as easily into his lap as Emily had Sam's. I usually didn't like sharing my feelings but it felt ok this time, like with Emily.

"He's being emo. He's at a gaming tournament in Portland right now and he just automatically figured I was going to go down there with him. I said I probably wasn't going to and now he's all mad because I came out here instead. And for some reason, he doesn't get why I think that sharing a hotel room with him is a big deal. I don't want to do that yet and he can't understand that. He thinks I'm being a bad girlfriend."

"Is he being a good boyfriend?"

At first, my mouth opened to defend him immediately but froze when I saw the look on Quil's face. It suddenly struck me that Quil would never ignore me like Colin did or misunderstand me like he was. I just kind of mumbled, "He's been better."

A splash of pain seemed to cross his face when he asked, "Do you love him?"

"I don't know yet. I'm trying to give us the time for me to find out."

A prolonged silence fell over us. I didn't know about Quil but for some reason under his intensely caring gaze I suddenly felt guilty about already having a boyfriend. It was odd and I batted it away as Claire's social stupidity. Why should I feel that way? I didn't even know Quil. But…even though we'd been talking less than five minutes I had the vague feeling that I'd known him forever.

Suddenly, he stood and held out his hand, "Come on." Not thinking about it twice, I grabbed his huge, warm hand and let him lift me into the air. He kept a hold of my hand as we walked into the trees. My chronically cold hands were instantly warmed by this radiant heat from his hand that spread up my arm and through my body. At one point he glanced back at me and must've seen the confusion. Grinning he stated nonchalantly, "Don't worry, this is just where I turn out to be a psychopath and kill you in the middle of nowhere."

Giggling, I replied, "Oh, ok. Just no strangulation or gunfire, please. Just throw me off a tree so I get a decent view on the way down." His grin became bigger. It made me want to just smile all the time that I could make him this happy with just my laugh and smile. It made me feel needed and beautiful and…loved.

We trekked through the forest in the dusk light. I couldn't shake the feeling that I'd been here. I'd walked through these trees and…I'd done it with Quil? It made no sense but my heart kept telling me that it was true. We stopped just as the trees ended. "Wow…"

We were standing on a cliff overlooking the ocean as the sunset sunk into the water as the clouds closed in. All the green and ocean-grey was drowned in yellows and oranges. My feet took me a step closer to the edge, trying to take it all in, and my grip on Quil's hand tightened.

There was laughter in his voice as he asked, "Feel better?"

I mutely nodded. We stood there staring until the sun disappeared, though at different things. I was enraptured by the view and he couldn't take his eyes off of me.

I know that I should have told him to stop. I should have reiterated that I had a boyfriend. I should have put a stop to it and told him right out that he really shouldn't stare at me like that... But I couldn't.

The rain began to pour down as the final rays of sun were blinking out. Looking up I began to laugh. I grabbed the tie from my hair and let the braid disintegrate, the water soaking into the strands. Letting go of Quil's hand, I began spinning. At that point, Colin would have grabbed my forearm and told me to stop being a little girl. People were probably watching. Quil just laughed.

When I tripped over one of my own feet a few moments later, Quil caught me. His smile made my breath catch. I still couldn't get over it. It was so happy and juvenile and it made his already gorgeous face light up. Colin didn't smile that much.

Dammit Claire, stop comparing them. You're dating Colin, Colin, Colin. Quil probably just took pity on you because you were friends when you were both little. Stop fantasizing about being with him instead of Colin. Maybe Colin has a point with the whole 'horrible fucking girlfriend' thing.

"Claire likes rain apparently?"

I nodded with a smile, "Yeah. I can't help it. It starts raining, I start spinning." That seemed to amuse him. Suddenly, as the wind picked up I shivered. "Aren't you cold?" Quil was still very noticeably shirtless.

"Nah. I'm just warm-blooded. I never get cold."

"Lucky people who get to embody both meanings of the word hot." Whoa, wait Claire. What was that? I couldn't believe that had actually slipped out. Had I just actually said that? I looked over at Quil. There was a tinge of a blush on his face. Dammit, I had said that.

Blushing furiously, I quickly went on, "So, Billy told me you're going to be a mechanic. What's your favorite car?"

Quil sent me a, for lack of a better work, love struck look. "You know cars?" At my nod, Quil reached over and caught me up in a hug akin to Jacob's from before. "You're never leaving again."


	4. Quil

"No Quil, that's complete crap and you know it!" I rolled my eyes at him as we entered Sam and Emily's house again. The others, all standing around the kitchen, looked at us with slightly worried expressions.

Quil shot back at me, not noticing the others, "It is not! How can you possibly say that Corvette is better than Mustang? After about '73 maybe but before that you're just stupid."

"Hey! Who's got the 35 on her ACT?"

He grinned at me, "What was your mechanical score on that?"

My mouth flapped open and closed a few times. "Well…bleh to you!" Putting on a pouting face, I appealed to the only other woman in the room, "Emily, Quil's being annoying! Make him stop!"

The room erupted with laughter. Emily turned a motherly face on him and reprimanded over the noise, "Now Quil, be nice."

I stuck my tongue out at him and he glared at me. Then, before I knew it, I was hovering in the air upside down. Screaming the entire time, I tried to pound on Quil to let me go. "QUIL! Quil put me down! Be nice to the midget! Ahhh, Quil! No, no, no spinning! I am so going to be sick and I'm going to make sure it gets all over you! Yeah, yeah that's right, put me down." I paled as he lowered me only to change his grip.

"QUIL, I AM SO KILLING YOU!" I screamed while sailing through the air onto his shoulder. Hitting my head on his back was like I had just become blind and walked into a concrete wall. "Oouf, bad, mean steroidish man. Yeah, Quil, I'm talking about you. Once I learn to fly, death is coming on swift wings, buddy."

My ears were still being assaulted with laughter, and not just Quil's. I sent what Colin had once dubbed as blood-freezing looks toward the others. "May God smite you all!" The laughter continued and Quil turned around, seemingly forgetting about me, and talking to the other guys.

Meanwhile, I was scheming. Come on, Claire. There's gotta be a way to get out of this. I tried to kick my foot toward something that I knew would make Quil fall like one of those giant trees out there. His hand shot out and intercepted it without missing a syllable. Damn freaky man! Next, I tried reaching out for the stair railing. I almost fell off but I managed to grab it. I pulled and pulled but it didn't even seem to strain Quil to not move.

Eyes narrowing, I was getting fed up. I didn't like being continually thwarted. As I was beginning to run out of options, a thought came from the deep recesses of my memory. Tickle his sides. It was one of those faraway instincts that had been coming to me since I came here. First, I'd known La Push, then Emily seemed familiar and I ended up related to her.

I shot my hands down and tickled his sides, right on the outside edge of his abs. Laughter cut off the rest of his sentence to Embry.

Go my subconscious!

What I hadn't counted on was that he wasn't just ticklish there. That spot was like the leg-kick spot on a dog. Even trying to pull me back in front of him so I couldn't reach, he started uncontrollably laughing and before either of us realized what was happening he was falling to the floor, taking me right with him. Out of instinct, I wrapped my arms around his neck, screaming. I crashed the floor, barely missing the table, and hitting my head hard on the floor. He was there noticeably, swelteringly and crushingly on top of me.

There was a second of shocked, worried silence. I coughed, trying in vain to get some oxygen back into my lungs, "Q-Quil, I need air. Oxygen is a necessity of life!" His face turned toward mine, and even after he scrambled up, the mere centimeters between his lips and mine made breathing impossible. Again, bad Claire!

My hands hadn't let go of his neck so once he was standing, I was hanging about a foot off the ground. A worried look on his face, he took my hands and lowered me to the floor. Groaning, I reached one to the back of my head once the white spots had disappeared, "Quil, you bring whole new meaning to the phrase hot and heavy."

I had meant it to be funny, at least Jake, Jared and Paul laughed, but Quil looked like he'd just shot me or something. "Claire, I'm so sorry! Are you all right? I didn't mean to I swear. Please, tell me you're ok. I'm so, so sorry." His sweet concern made me smile.

He went on like that for a few more minutes before I put him out of his misery.

Taking a step toward him, I reached up and gently smacked the side of his face, "Quil, shut up. I'm fine." In all honesty, I wished I could've kissed him to make him stop. It would've been funny and I certainly wouldn't have been against it. Claire, you have Colin. You're dating him. Stop being a whore.

His dark brown eyes still held concern. Reaching out both hands, I threatened, "If you don't smile I'm gonna tickle you some more and it's just gonna happen again." He twitched as my cold fingers touched his skin, "Yeah, I'll do it, Quil. Do _not_ underestimate the midget!"

That smile I'd going for spread across his face as his strong arms engulfed me in a hug that made me sweat…and my heart race. Goddamn it body stop doing that to me. Colin, Colin, Colin…

My mental reprimands were cut off when his hug turned scooping me up in his arms. Next thing I knew, I was being tossed onto Emily's couch and this time it was his scorching fingers tickling me. Somehow he knew exactly where to tickle me so I made that loud, embarrassing giggle. My laugh made his face split into that grin that took up half his face, his perfectly white teeth even whiter against his copper skin. Fighting him was a completely lost cause. His huge body had me pinned between it and the couch. No matter how much I squirmed I wasn't going anywhere.

Yeah, my 135 pounds versus his probably 275 of pure muscle. I was doomed from the get-go.

Breathing raggedly, fighting off tears of laughter, I begged, "Quil, Quil stop! Please!"

His deep voice was rippling with laughter as he got up and held out a hand, "You still think Corvettes are better than Mustangs?"

Looking from his hand to his eyes, the latter being annoying enthralling, I suddenly grinned, "Yep!" I rolled off the couch and scurried to the safety underneath the coffee. Oh yes, being short was good.

Quil dropped to his knees and commenced trying to get me out. After I backed painfully into one of the legs, there was a pronounced "Ahem" from the kitchen. Our heads swung in that direction. Since my encounter with the ground, I'd been in a bubble that only included Quil and me. I'd forgotten they existed for those ten minutes.

They were all staring at us with varied levels of amusement and shock. Sam rolled his eyes and started forward, Emily right behind holding his hand, "Quil, buddy, we've only got one coffee table. And Claire, don't take this the wrong way, but you haven't changed at all. You, three years old, I'm totally seeing it right now."

As soon as he sat down I stuck my tongue out at him. Well, he had a definite point there all things considered. Embry and Jake each grabbed one of my arms and hauled me up. "You know, Sam, maybe I just like lounging on the floor underneath tables. You ever think of that?" He sent me a look that made Emily laugh.

* * *

><p>I woke up late that night sitting up on Abby's bed with the little girl hugging my arm, still fast asleep. There was a piece of paper and pencil in my lap. Carefully detaching my arm from her so as not to wake her, I stood up. I left the drawing of Mulan on the bed with her. After begging me to see all her princess stuff, I'd told her I could draw. Abby pounced upon the knowledge in a heartbeat. She informed me that Mulan was her 'favoritest' princess of them all. She brought me the paper and pencil and put on what I imagined was the look she used to melt Sam whenever she wanted. It melted me that was for sure.<p>

We'd been in the middle of picking colors for her dress when she nodded off, me soon after. I'd had a full day: meeting my family, bonding with everyone, arguing with Colin, all but baring my soul to Quil, starting to crush on Quil… It'd been tiring. I couldn't stop being mad at myself for the last one. I was the one intent on making it work with Colin, how could I even think of someone else that way? I got the feeling that Quil wouldn't hold anything against me. We could be friends…right?

In the darkness of Abby's doorway, I was surprised to see that there was still a light on in the kitchen. Frowning, I pulled out my phone to check the time. It was two in the morning. Shaking off a yawn, I padded quietly down the hall and peered around the corner to see. Sam, Jake and Billy were there talking. I knew it was wrong to eavesdrop but come on, a two in the morning meeting in the kitchen? I was bubbly, not saintly.

"I'm surprised she fit back in as well as she did. It's like she didn't find it weird at all to hang with us but not remember." I thought that was Jake, both Sam and Billy's voices were a bit deeper than his.

"I'm not. She drank everything up yesterday. She sat there fascinated for almost six hours listening to the old legends. I think she's been lonely." That was Billy.

I was beginning to put more and more stock in my mind-reader hypothesis. If only he knew just how lonely I'd been. Just twenty-four hours here and I felt at home for the first time _ever_. It felt right and good and intended. My heart wasn't visiting here, it was coming home. I somehow knew that.

Jake's tone shrugged, "From the sounds of her boyfriend, I'd believe it."

"How's Quil?" Sam spoke up for the first time. "I thought he was going to pass out when we walked in."

Jake was nodding then, "Yeah, I noticed something in his head when we were running. I think he sensed she was back but it's been so long he didn't put the pieces together. It's a good thing that Embry and Seth haven't imprinted yet or I think it would've driven him insane by now. He's ecstatic. I've never seen him this happy since she left."

What on earth was imprinting and how was I involved?

"Oh, have fun in his head the next time you guys go. She likes him. I can't tell what way though, can you?" That was Sam again.

Billy started chuckling, "Oh, you amuse me sometimes, Sam. I wouldn't worry about what way she likes him. That'll work itself out. Don't worry there. Now Jake, I would really like to go home and sleep. Claire will understand if we borrow her keys."

Ok, this man definitely had some freaky, psychic talents going on. I felt like I'd been transformed into a book with large print because he and Emily were looking stuff up about my inner self like I was a dictionary. My own mom couldn't understand me and she'd known me nineteen years. Emily and Billy hadn't seen me in fifteen and they were in my head already.

"When should we tell her?" There was Sam again. The screen door creaked open and they were too far away for me to hear a response. After hearing my Civic drive away, I pressed myself against the wall so Sam wouldn't see me. He went straight up the stairs to his and Emily's room.

Confusion, and a bit of guilt, built as I moved through the living room to the couch. I curled up using the pillow already there. Too bad Quil wasn't there to keep me warm. The last thing I thought before falling asleep was, "Stupid Claire, you have a boyfriend and Quil couldn't see you like that. Cut it out."

* * *

><p>"Cwaire, wake up! You dwaw me picture wike Abby." Harry was standing there, his fist knocking on my temple to bring me back to consciousness.<p>

I groaned loudly but opened my eyes anyway. "Give me a second, baby." Pushing myself to a sitting position, I stretched. The little boy, and now Abby too, was still standing there, hopeful smile on his face. His short black hair was bedraggled and sticking up. Abby's braided pigtails had survived the night somehow. I noticed that they both looked more like Sam than Emily. I couldn't explain how but they did a bit. They had Emily's eyes though.

Smiling, I commented, "Ok, as soon as I get changed into new clothes then we'll draw."

"YAY!" They skipped around me cheering as I headed toward the kitchen.

"Where's your mommy?"

Abby shrugged, "Oh, she's still asleep. We're nice and let her and daddy sleep in." Nodding approvingly, I then looked at the clock. It was five-thirty in the morning! Oh, you've gotta love little kids. For a second, I was tempted to just go lay back down on the couch. But they were still staring up at me, admiration and hope in their eyes.

Hey, I'm a girl. We're all suckers for little kids. And these two were really, really cute.

"Let's make breakfast so your mommy doesn't have to. What should we make?" Emily had given me permission the day before to make anything I wanted. I padded over to my purse and, after making sure the door at the top of the stairs was closed, grabbed my iPod, putting one headphone in and kicking off my shoes and socks. They began rattling off ideas as I picked them up and set them on the counter.

Harry added matter of factly, "Whatever we do we have to make enough for everyone because the others are always here for breakfast around seven."

"Don't they ever eat at their own houses?" I rolled my eyes teasingly. They laughed.

"Let's make pancakes with chocolate chips. They're me and Quil's favorite," Abby declared. Was it bad that that knowledge made me warm and tingly inside? Was it bad that I wanted to go out of my way to make something Quil liked?

"Oh, oh, bacon and eggs too!"

"But no muffins! Mommy's the only one that can make them muffins. Hers are the best ever! So no muffins," Abby instructed.

Smiling as I braided my hair into pigtails, I nodded, "Sounds good. You guys get to help me mix and tell me where stuff is." I found some upbeat, danceable music that sounded good on my iPod and we began the journey. Half the time they told me two different locations for the same ingredient but one of them was always right, mainly Abby. It amused them to no end that I danced and absently sang as I did things.

Simply sticking my tongue out at them, I sang slightly louder. They got a good portion of the batter onto the counter but we soon had a huge amount ready to be cooked. Harry was in charge of telling me when the bacon smelled ready and putting pepper on the eggs and Abby was to make sure there were enough chocolate chips in the pancakes.

They'd joined in my singing as I twirled from the counter across to the stove after I put the pancakes on the griddle. Apparently, the three of us singing and the smell of food was enough to beckon the guys to Emily's kitchen. Ok, it was probably more the smell of food overpowered the repulsive effect of our singing.

Again shirtless, the boys all arrived, rambunctious and loud. The three of us immediately shushed them. Holding a spoon out threateningly, I whispered, "Emily and Sam are still sleeping. Shut up!" The noise stopped immediately and they habitually gathered around the table. Grabbing Abby in one arm and a towering plate of pancakes in the other, with Harry riding on my back, I danced over to the table. After both climbed off, I went back to get eggs and bacon.

Without really thinking about it, I just kept singing. Even with one headphone out, I was still off-key. Colin always glared at me and told me to shut up when I did that. But those guys just laughed, especially when I randomly spun around in front of the stove. Laughing, I made a face at them, "Don't make fun of me."

"Hey midget girl, we're laughing with you," Paul threw back at me.

"Don't talk with your mouth full, giant boy, or I kick you out with no more breakfast," I threatened with my spoon again. That shut him up.

Yeah Claire, that's smart. Go and threaten to take away the gigantic boy's food. That'll go well. Paul wisely waited until I was on the last serving of pancakes to attack. I'd just set them down, on the end of the table farthest from him, when I noticed he wasn't sitting where he had been. In fact, I didn't see him at all.

Realization dawned on me just as the glass of water was emptied on my head.

The freezing water wrenched a strangled scream from my lungs as everyone erupted in laughter. I glared at Paul long and hard, chasing him back to his chair with my stare, before shaking my head and getting the stray droplets out. His newfound cowardice only made the others laugh harder.

Quil wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me onto his lap with a hug, saying comfortingly, "Come on, Claire. It was a little funny." I tried to glare at him but I couldn't, not with that smile on his face. He held up a piece of bacon and waved it in front of me with a grin.

Rolling my eyes, I admitted, "All right, whatever." Then I stole the bacon from his fingers. Grabbing his fork again, he went back to devouring the pile of at least a dozen pancakes drenched with syrup on his plate.

Wow Claire, nice, YOU'RE SITTING IN ANOTHER GUY'S LAP! Damn the fact that I had a boyfriend and I was trying to love him. I was comfy and…bleh! Reluctantly, though albeit quickly, I extracted myself from his embrace and pulled a chair over. I looked resolutely at my plate but, while grabbing a pancake for myself, I saw the look on his face I hadn't wanted to. The grin was gone and a saddened and self-deprecating expression replaced it.

Just as I was putting a bite to my mouth, Harry ran up to me holding my sketchbook aloft. "Will you draw me a picture now, Cwaire? You dwaw good pictures in herew. Abby and I saw them this morning."

They'd gone through my sketchbook!

I began coughing violently against the pancake in my throat attempting to choke me at my sharp breath. Quil's hand immediately pounded on my back, making my ribs feel like they were about to shatter. After downing a glass of water, I nodded at Harry, a smile winning out at his cuteness. "Thanks. Just go grab me some pencils from my purse. What do you want a picture of?"

"I want a wolf like that one!" He was already back, three pencils now in my hand. He took the book back and crawled up into my lap, flipping through the pages of fairies, landscapes, and many wolves. He had a special one in mind, apparently. "I want one like this!" he exclaimed, handing me back the book.

I nodded, taking one last bite of eggs, "This is one of my favorites, too. Ok, I don't have any colored pencils or pastels so it won't be chocolate brown like this one. It'll be pencil color."

He nodded, "That's ok."

He slid back to the ground as I brought my legs up to sit cross-legged. My body just instinctively took that position when I drew. I never knew why. It was like braiding my hair during arguments. I'd always done it. As I threw one of my pigtails back over my shoulder, I noticed the loud silence directed my way. Looking up, I found them all staring at me. "What?"

The silence continued, fueling an embarrassment that sprang up, thinking they thought me drawing was stupid. "What…?" I questioned again, anxiety setting in.

"You draw pictures of chocolate colored wolves?" Jake finally queried, his voice careful.

I nodded, "Umm, yeah, they've been my favorite animals since I was a kid. I had dreams about them every night until I was like ten. Why?"

"And they were always dark brown?"

"I don't know. I could never remember colors after I woke up but when I went to draw a chocolaty brown felt right most of the time, why?" I was looked from one of them to the other frantically now. What was weird? Had I done something wrong?

Face it, Claire. You're just a freak and they're starting to see it.

But when my eyes landed on Quil, I became even more confused. He was looking down at his hands, eyes not wandering in the slightest. He wasn't exactly sad but there was more of a…pleased shock maybe. I wasn't sure. There was a tiny tinge of a smile there but were those tears? I'd already discovered that I connected the best and easiest with Quil and not knowing what his general feeling was worried me.

Embry was the one to quiet my fears. His calm, quietly deep voice washed over me in a comforting wave, "It's just ironic that's all. You know, the whole Quileute legends about wolves and then you liking them after being away so long." He gave me a smile, "Weird how stuff sticks with you, huh? Hey Seth, pass me the eggs. It's all delicious by the way."

"Seth agrees!"

I laughed, "Seth refers to himself in the third person now?"

Looking over at me with a grin, he shrugged, "It happens. Hey, can I see your stuff?" Without really meaning to, I clutched the book to my chest and shook my head, eyes wide. Instead of pressing though, he just nodded, "Ok," and went right back to eating. A smile crept over my face.

I loved these guys. I didn't have to argue to be myself and they took my decisions without complaint. Colin would have immediately tried grabbing for the book. If I said no then he had to have it. Then he would get crabby because I'd rejected him. Speaking of, he hadn't texted me anything since our fight the night before. Sighing, I knew I should really text him but I didn't want to get up to get my phone.

Besides, Claire, you have to finish this picture for Harry. There's a little kid counting on this.

I put my headphones back in and bent back over my work, taking a drink or grabbing a forkful of pancake now and then. The wolf Harry had picked out was sitting straight up, eyes staring directly into mine, his ears pricked up and tongue lolling out so he seemed to be smiling. I was adding in a forest background for Harry. What I hadn't told Jacob was that I still had random dreams about wolves. They just weren't as often. I'd had the dream that brought on this picture on my sixteenth birthday. I'd been at a beach with the wolf and he'd dropped a green rock in my hand.

I always zoned completely out when I drew. Colin had always snapped his fingers in front of me, trying to get my attention when I did. When I looked up from a finished drawing, the dishes were all picked up and neatly washed in the drainer in the sink. My duffle bag was sitting beside my shoes and purse. Everyone was gone except Quil, still sitting right beside me.

He was staring at me again with that look, seeming perfectly content doing nothing other than just watching me. From anyone else I would have thought it weird but…not from Quil. Quil was too…Quil. I couldn't find anything wrong with Quil, least of all being creepy.

After I had pulled the headphones from my ears he asked, "All done?" I nodded and automatically turned it around for him to see. He gently reached forward and took it from my fingers. "Claire, this is awesome, you know that? You're the best artist I've ever seen."

Blushing, I shook my head, "No, I'm not. I'm just kind of good at wolves, I guess. Colin says my stuff sucks. He says I need more feeling in them."

"Well, then he's an emo, blind dumbass." Quil's reply was immediate and determined. Hey he's got a point there…No, no, I'm making it work with Colin. When I stayed silent, he looked up and whispered apologetically, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that." I shrugged and gave him a smile, telling him it was ok.

I was suddenly struck with the knowledge that Quil's disapproval of Colin bothered me. I wanted him to be ok with Colin. I shook it off immediately, or at least tried. I took my sketchbook back before he could look at anything else, even though he hadn't made a move to turn the page. Tucking it under my arm, I got up and grabbed my duffle bag. "I'm gonna change real quick. Where's Harry?"

"Preschool. Emily took him and Abby about two hours ago."

Freezing where I stood, I asked, "Emily's awake? What time is it?"

Quil's youthful grin returned, "Claire, you've been working on that drawing for the last four hours. It's almost noon."

Mouth dropping open, I exclaimed, "Seriously?" He nodded. I shook my head in disbelief as I made my way to the bathroom.

Before I made it across the living room he asked, "Hey, do you wanna do something with me today?" My head nodded and my mouth spread into a smile before I could think about it, let alone say no. I didn't really want to say no. I hurried to the bathroom before anything else could happen. Then I was faced with the clothes dilemma.

Quil's perpetual shirtlessness didn't help me with figuring out what to wear, weather or activity wise. Well, I got socks, bra and underwear done without any help. Go me! Seeing that it worked well the other day, I just reached in and grabbed. A pair of normal denim skinny jeans and a sage tank top got pulled out. That worked. I also dug around until I found a warm hoodie. Zipping it all the way up as I stepped out, I carted my stuff back to where it had been parked before. It seemed as good a place as any.

Quil perked up at my entrance but I held up a finger before he could say anything. "Give me a minute." I texted Colin good luck before turning the device off. I tore Harry's picture out and placed it on his placemat. Shoving my feet into my shoes, I stuffed my sketchbook back into my purse and turned expectantly to Quil, "So what're we doing?"

He didn't say anything. He just grabbed my hand and led me from the house. We were going through the forest again. Laughing, I asked, "Are you going to kill me again or something?"

"Yep, found a new way to do it," was his quick quip. Rolling my eyes, I just kept stumbling along behind him. He had a fast stride that a short person like me couldn't keep up with well. He seemed too excited to notice.

We came to a stop at the beach. It felt familiar, but what didn't these days? The dark sand was scattered with rocks and pebbles of all colors. Instinctively, I knelt down and let them fall through my fingers. Quil was again just watching me. An evil grin coming to my face, I grabbed a handful and chucked them at him then ran for it.

Laughing hysterically, I met the ground in a matter of seconds. Quil was inches from my face, looking down at me with a content smile as he loomed over me. I made a face at him, "Stupid fast people." He smile turned a bit smug.

Sighing, I attempted to get up. He made me beg before I was allowed to free myself from the sand. I slipped off my shoes to feel the sand between my toes. After that we just walked for a while. I couldn't tell how long but I didn't care. It was nice just walking up and down along the shore, waves beating on the sand, mist coming faintly down. It was nice just being with Quil.

And we talked. We just talked the whole time. We played this interminable and unbelievably comfortable game of twenty questions about each other. I learned that his birthday was February 14, a tidbit I planned to exploit later, his favorite color was blue, he liked football, he had his own house on the other side of the rez near Billy's, he, Jake, and Embry had been friends forever and he couldn't stand rap music. But more than that, I learned that he was almost sickeningly selfless, he wasn't an extremely patient person, he liked being prepared and he never stayed mad very long. The information just soaked into me. I hung on every word he said, desperate to learn more about him.

As we walked, our paths became increasingly closer. I knew I shouldn't let him be that close to me, so that our arms brushed every time they swung. Again, I couldn't say anything. Everything felt too irrevocably right to put a stop to any of it.

When I looked around with observing eyes, I saw that the cloudy sky had darkened a bit. I got the feeling we'd been there a few hours.

That haunting familiarity struck me again as he brushed some sand from his hair. I pensively frowned at him. Finally, as he noticed my gaze, I asked, "Quil, were we friends when I lived here? Did we play and stuff because I swear I remember you sometimes."

His gorgeous eyes caught mine and for an instant I thought I saw some cross between fear and hope, but then he looked resolutely down. Nodding, he explained, "Yeah. Yeah, we were. We came here a lot actually. You threw rocks at me then, too." I couldn't help but smile.

"Was my aim as good back then, too?"

He sent me a grin, "Not even close." I felt his fingers rub against mine and a jolt went through my hand. I wanted to reach out and grab it. My hand wanted to reach out and grab his. One of his fingers wrapped around mine and, for about five steps I let it. You're doing it again Claire. Where's Colin here…?

Fighting a sigh and a sudden chill, I pulled my hand from his and stopped, staring out at the water. Quil came up behind me, a foot or so back. I didn't want to turn around. I was scared to see what I knew I'd see on his face. I knew I'd find some kind of disappointment there, some sadness. I couldn't stand the mere thought of Quil sad.

I took a few steps forward until my toes were being lapped by the tide.

The silence was just beginning to border upon awkward when his voice in my ear made me jump, chills rising on my arms, "Oh hey, I forgot to tell you how I was going to kill you. Drowning!"

A laugh escaped me and I was just about to turn around to ask what that was about when I was suddenly falling forward, Quil's arms encircling my waist. I screamed as we plummeted into the freezing water. "QUIL!" I spluttered upon my resurface.

He was floating a few feet away, laughing hysterically. My eyes narrowed and I leapt toward him. Oh he was so going down! I managed to get an arm around his neck. He splashed beneath the surface, look of shock on his face. "Ha! One for the midget!" I proclaimed triumphantly.

Ok, yeah, the outcome of this fight is pretty easy to determine. It ended up two for the midget and about ten for the Quil. Go me! I was laughing so hard the last time I came up though, I didn't notice the water spurting out of my nose or how exhausted I'd become. Quil reached out his hand and pulled me up from where I sat on the bottom. Pushing him one last time, not making him take more than a step back, I ran out of the water before collapsing on the sand. I lay there coughing for a bit before looking to my left and seeing Quil laying there with me. He had this look in his eyes that I couldn't explain. It was so happy, as was his smile. Not smiling back would have been like deciding one day that I no longer needed to breathe: it was impossible.

I rolled onto my side toward him, smile not looking to fade anytime soon. For the first time since I'd met him, well re-met I guess, I got to uninterruptedly and shamelessly stare at him. No distractions. No time limits. And horribly enough, no thoughts of Colin.

Quil really was gorgeous. And not in a fireman calendar or poster kind of way. Yeah, his was so easy on the eyes they were practically vacationing in Tahiti and his muscles were ridiculous in the awe-inspiring way but, what entranced me were his eyes. They were so, so dark, almost black with just a tint of a coffee brown. And they were deep and so happy and looking right back at me. I could stare at his eyes forever.

It wasn't until the wind picked up and a ripple of chill ran through me that I could look away. Crossing my arms, I glanced down at my now pale purple fingers. A shiver spread just from the sight. I was suddenly feeling very cold. I sat up with a laugh, now feeling just how wet my clothes were in the brisk wind, "Dang it, Quil, you got my clothes all wet! You're lucky I took my shoes off or you'd be _so_ dead."

Quil almost seemed to jerk awake at that point. He looked down at my fingers, my toes and then back up to my lips, all of which were purple. "Shit! I'm sorry Claire, I totally didn't even think about you getting cold. Crap, I shouldn't have gotten you wet!"

Before I could get a placating word out edgewise, he'd gathered me up in his arms, his heat radiating through my cold skin. I told myself that my heart was racing to get me warm again, not because of Quil… Knowing it wasn't doing me any good, I slipped out of my hoodie. It was soaked and covered in cold sand. With my personal space heater wrapping his arms around me, I figured there was no point in keeping it on.

Pulling in my arms and sandwiching them between us, I huddled into his warmth with my smiling growing again. Dammit Claire, can't you stop being a whore for ten minutes? You're dating _Colin_! Not Quil, Colin. But then…it's for my own good. I could freeze to death or get hypothermia or frostbite or…or the chicken pox!

I didn't care how loud my Colin loyalty conscience screamed at me. I wasn't moving a muscle from right there. Quil was looking down at me when I glanced up. "I'm really sorry, Claire."

Rolling my eyes, I huffed, "Oh Quil, calm down will you? I'm not on my deathbed or anything. I'm perfectly capable of mentioning that I'm cold…you're just annoyingly distracting. Ok fine, it _is_ your fault." I gave him a grin and it got him to laugh.

But he froze mid-chuckle. His eyes had caught sight of my necklace and I could've sworn I almost felt his heart skip a beat. I wasn't sure why he was so fixated on it. It wasn't usually considered pretty or anything. In fact, I'd been asked why the hell I was wearing a rock around my neck on countless occasions. I'd always loved the sea green color and I just felt connected to it. So I usually told people to shove it.

"Umm, Quil, are you ok?"

His eyes didn't move. He must not have blinked either because they were beginning to tear up. "Wh-where did you get your necklace?"

"I made it with my step-dad. I've always had the rock, though. It was like my teddy bear. I took it everywhere. One time, I'd lost it in my desk at school for almost a week and I figured I needed to find a better way to keep it. So, we made a necklace out of it. I've worn it ever since. Why?"

One of his tears teetered on his eyelashes before falling down onto his cheek and rolling down toward me. Blinking hurriedly, he tried to get moisture back to his eyes. And he got mad at me for not mentioning I was cold. He was the one forgetting to blink... It was a few minutes before he was looking down at me again and smiling, "I gave you that rock, Claire."

Grabbing it and looking at it in a whole new way, I was overcome by just how ecstatic it made me that he'd given it to me. Then the confusion set in. Why did Quil giving me the rock make me so happy? What was that? I loved the rock even more now all the same. I looked up at him, "Really?" He just nodded. Biting my lip, I could only smile again at it.

Quil then took my arm and swung me up onto his back. "Come on, let's get back to Emily's before it gets dark."

"I can walk, Quil."

"Yeah, I know." Stooping to grab my shoes, he kept right on jogging toward the house. I rolled my eyes but laid my head down on the back of his neck and closed them anyway. Somehow, I managed to fall asleep on the way.


	5. Tarzan Revisited

A/N: Well, this chapter's a little shorter, but, don't worry I'll post two to make up for it. And for all you guys hating Colin, I actually based him off of one of my best friend's old boyfriends. I swear I'm not making him up entirely. It took about two years for her to realize he wasn't good. Thankfully, since I'm writing this one, I can save Claire a whole lot of hurt. That being said, on we go. Again, thanks for reading!

* * *

><p>For the second time in one day, my temple was being knocked on like it was a door. Groaning pitifully, I cracked an eye open. Abby was looming over me, huge smile on her face, just-showered hair dripping on me. She was holding up a number of DVDs. "Claire, do you want to watch a movie with me?"<p>

Blinking a few more times, I finally got around to nodding, "Sure. Where's everybody else?"

"Mommy and daddy went to the store with Harry a bit ago after we got our baths. They said you and Quil could watch me. And they said we could watch movies even though it's eight and my bedtime's in an hour!" Wow, I'd been asleep for almost three hours.

I smiled, "Ok." I sat up on Emily's couch and felt the inescapable discomfort of wet jeans. I _hated_ that feeling. I turned back to the girl, "I'm going to throw on some pajamas really quick though." After getting her excited affirmative, I went searching for my bag. My pajamas were rumpled and thrown at the bottom but I didn't care a bit.

People find my pajamas amusing. I'm not sure why but when I'd walk the halls of my dorm to go to the bathroom or something, I got snickered at constantly. I loved my pajamas and totally considered them bad ass. How could black pants with Tinkerbells and lime green stars all over them with "Pixie" across the butt and a lime green tank top not be bad ass? Honestly?

After letting my hair down, I emerged from the bathroom and flopped down on the floor next to Abby where she had all her DVDs laid out in an array before her. "What should we watch, Claire?" I put on a pensive expression. She had every classic princess movie I'd ever heard of. She even had Thumbelina and _The Princess Bride_. It was a tough choice.

But I knew exactly what we had to watch when I saw it. It was my favorite one, always had been, although I couldn't remember the last time I watched it. Whenever we saw it in the store growing up, I remembered that I loved it. My mom would never get it for me, though. I had the soundtrack, which was usually my sad day music. Yes, I know I am pathetic. I snatched up _Tarzan_ and held it up. "Will this one work?"

"Ok! I haven't watched that one in forwever!" She skittered to turn on the TV and put in the DVD.

It suddenly occurred to me that I was hungry. Popcorn sounded an apt choice at the moment. "Hey Abby, do you like popcorn?" She nodded readily. Smiling, I replied, "I'll go make some."

The little girl had her own bowl and was curled up in one of the recliners and I had an even bigger bowl on the couch with me within ten minutes. Quil walked in the front door just as the Disney logo was ending. He shook his head like a dog, getting all the water out I assumed. I laughed at first but upon second look I noticed that he looked exhausted. Concern in my voice, I asked, "Jeez Quil, you look like you just ran to Canada or something. Are you ok?"

I thought I saw a moment of fear as he froze but seeing my worry he changed his expression. His smile emerged and he laughed reassuringly, "Hey shut up, exercise is good for you. What're you guys watching?" When he just stood there in front of the couch, I rolled my eyes and pulled him down next to me.

Abby answered, "Tawazan! Claire picked it out!"

He froze again and I shrugged at his weird look. "What? I love this movie." I thought I heard him mumble with a smile "I know" as the main credits began but I wasn't sure over the music. Surprisingly, Quil didn't complain about the selection. Every time I attempted to watch a Disney movie with Colin, not even princess ones, he blew a gasket. On more than one occasion he refused to suffer through it for me. He usually just left and we had to watch an anime movie that he recited verbatim. I never pouted and went home…

Dammit, why was it the more time I spent with Quil the more I decided that all Colin's faults weren't so acceptable anymore? It was beginning to annoy me. Well, not annoy me…it was beginning to plant little seeds of doubt into something I'd held so much confidence in. I didn't know if Quil liked me like that and yet he was making me think my first relationship wasn't all that great anymore. Despite the inescapable unknowns in this scenario, he was making me begin to think that I'd rather be dating him than Colin. And I liked him too much, even just as a friend, to stop hanging out with him to make the qualms stop.

I just pure and simple loved being with Quil too much already. He just fit me.

We started out just sitting there on the couch together. I was on leaning against one arm, he was in the middle. I offered him the bowl of popcorn. Big mistake! It was half gone when I got it back. Rolling my eyes, I just smiled. The guy was a pig but at least he was a cute, sweet pig.

By the time Tarzan had met Jane, the popcorn was gone and Quil had laid down with his head in my lap and his feet hanging over the other arm of the couch. Abby and I both belted out "You'll Be in My Heart" like it was an aria and we were the best opera singers in the world. Quil was grinning up at me the entire time, his little kid laughter washing over me. Along with that distant familiarity that I could never place, a warm tingling starting in my stomach rushed through my body.

As of Tarzan deciding if he should leave or not, I had shifted so my legs were up on the couch, one on each side of Quil. His head had made my stomach into a pillow. I looked down to see him blinking to stay awake more than once.

I looked down as Jane threw herself into the ocean to go back to Tarzan. Quil had turned onto his side and wrapped his arm around my waist, making me his life-size teddy bear. His mouth was slightly open but only a slight wheeze-like snore came out. I could see his eyes fluttering beneath his lids.

Oh my god, he was so cute! I know that makes him sound like he was two or something but I couldn't come up with a better word for it. He looked younger, yes, but it was more than that. He seemed peaceful and happy and as I looked down at him I truly believed that there couldn't possibly be anything bad in the world.

After the movie was done, I told Abby in whispers to go put on her pajamas and brush her teeth if she could. She was about to pout but as soon as she saw Quil, she put her hands to her mouth and held back a giggle. She ran from the room and I soon heard laughter from the bathroom.

She was in her room, _supposedly_ in bed, with the light out after about twenty minutes. She gave both me and Quil kisses on the cheek before running off down the hall. She was going to grow up like Emily I thought. She was caring like her mom.

Quil didn't stir as I just sat there watching him. At one point or another, I noticed that he was really heavy and my back hurt but he was better than a heated blanket by far. I should have gotten bored but…I didn't. He mumbled in his sleep once, his face burying itself in my shirt. I reached down and ran my fingers through his hair and, after more indistinct mumbling, he turned his head back. I leaned back and turned off the light. Thou shalt not wake up Quil had become the Eleventh Commandment.

Eventually, I fell asleep too. My fairly upright position didn't make that the most comfortable but the ridiculously warm and fuzzy feeling the whole situation was giving me canceled out any discomfort. I remember waking up once.

Emily and Sam were getting home. I was groggy when I chastised, "Shhh, Quil's sleeping!" I fell back asleep immediately after. I was warm and happy and loved.

I dreamt of a wolf that night. It was the one from my other dreams. Except this time, I knew it was a chocolate brown and it lay down and cuddled me. We sat there on the ground, its fur keeping me warm as I hugged it. It licked my face right before I woke up.


	6. Split Decisions

If I'd been thinking the night before, it probably would have run through my mind that the next morning would be awkward. I should have gotten mad at myself and told myself about Colin. I was dating Colin and I was not supposed to be sleeping—albeit only sleeping—with anybody else. Wow, when did I become such a whore?

I should have realized how awkward it was going to be…I should have but didn't need to.

I woke up before Quil. Startled by the fact I couldn't move, I thrashed around a bit then immediately regretted it when he began to stir. My surroundings whooshed back to me and I didn't want him to wake up. It felt too perfect…

His hands clenched a few times and his head buried itself in my stomach again. He mumbled my name before blinking awake and looking up at me. He looked more than a little shocked to see me there when he questioned, "Claire?"

I just tried to smile, "Hi Quil."

A grin spread over his face and he hugged me tighter before putting his head back down. "Hi." Nothing could be awkward when it involved Quil, seriously!

Emily was the one who walked in then, handing us both plates with toast and eggs on them. "Quil, you're gonna want to get up. Sam went out running with the others already. He mentioned that you shouldn't be too late."

That elicited a loud groan from Quil. "Emily, I don't wanna go!"

"I know, honey, but you should anyway." Hugging me tight one last time, he pushed himself up, downed the food in two bites then ran toward the door. He sent me a grin as he disappeared through the screen door.

Emily sat down next to me, crossing her legs and asking nonchalantly, "Have fun watching the movie last night?"

At her curious gaze, I laughed and stuck my tongue out at her, "Oh shut up!"

She laughed along with me before getting serious, "So…do you like Quil then? I thought you already had a boyfriend…"

Sighing, I set down my food before I really had a chance to eat it. "Yeah, I've got Colin…but…but I like Quil! It's weird I feel like I've known him forever and he's so nice and he makes me laugh so much. It's just so easy being around him. And he's starting to make me think that Colin isn't such a good idea and then I have these random thoughts that I should be with Quil instead! It's so hard because…being with Colin is nice but it's a challenge. I have to work to fit with him but with Quil…Being with Quil is like breathing."

We sat there talking of my dilemma for the remainder of the already half-gone morning. She didn't actually tell me what to do, not that I really brought up the idea that I had a decision, but she was a great listener. I just felt the need to get everything out. By the time we got up and I put on some clothes for the day, I felt better. The confusion was worse but those warring feelings had settled to grumpy old housecats instead of savage lions. I wasn't sure how I was ever going to manage without Emily when I had to go back to school.

I needed everybody here so much already.

"He likes you, just so you know. I realize you probably don't see it but…he really does," she reassured me before standing up to get her things.

I went with Emily to pick up Abby and Harry from preschool. We drove over to see Billy after that. He and Emily began planning some sort of gathering. I caught the words "bonfire", "food", "Friday", "legends", and "truth" while entertaining Abby and Harry outside, without letting them get muddy. That was not a simple task, let me tell you.

And while they didn't get dirty, I couldn't say the same for myself. While grabbing Abby and swinging her away from a puddle, Harry made sure I lost my balance and fell right in. My scream drew Emily and Billy to the screen door and uproarious giggles from the two perpetrators who got me into that mess.

Mock glaring at them, I pushed myself up and crossed my arms, "All right, that's it you two! I am walking home!" Their laughter immediately halted, though I heard Emily's in the background. Hiding my own smile as I turned, I grabbed my purse then I walked up the driveway and onto the road. I didn't know where I was going but I was on a reservation—it wouldn't be that hard to become un-lost.

It was beautiful out there, really. I couldn't get over how it didn't matter where I went in La Push, I found something gorgeous to look at. Even Emily's house was stocked with pretty people to look at. Ok, it was official. I really was becoming a whore. Ignoring the mist that was perpetually falling around here and my newfound whorishness, I kept walking. I found that store Sue had mentioned and the high school.

Out of nowhere, I decided that I was going to wander around until I found Quil's house. He hadn't really told me a whole lot about it. I knew that it was across the rez from Sam and Emily's, it was right next to his parents' and that it was blue. Now, bearing in mind my aforementioned navigational skills, one can guess how well my search went.

It took a few hours, but I did find it. And I found that I liked it. It wasn't huge but it wasn't tiny either. It was…cozy? I couldn't explain why but I liked it. His parents' house was blue too, but I knew it was his by the car parts littering the inside of the open garage. Smiling to myself, I went up his driveway and looked around. The door was open. The small radio shoved into the cleanest, least oily spot on the workbench was also on, playing rock music.

A song I liked came on, so I reached over and turned it up a bit before looking at the car, motorcycle and numerous four-wheelers. The motorcycle confused me for a minute. Quil hadn't said anything about owning a bike. Perhaps it wasn't his. He had mentioned that his garage had become his, Embry's and Jake's makeshift shop.

I knew nothing about four-wheelers. Nobody in Maryland had them. They were illegal to drive in cities anyway, so I didn't look at them. I didn't really understand the point. Just get a car. Around here it rained too much for four-wheelers. But the cars, the cars I knew.

Of the two or three cars in various states of repair, one of them seemed to be the latest to be getting cared for. The poor red Mazda had its innards strewn about the floor. Setting my purse down, I rolled the sleeves of my now muddy hoodie up and began rummaging through parts. There was a brand new part box on a bench containing a crank shaft. It was for a Mazda. About then, I noticed the to-do note on the mini-fridge. Underneath the word 'Mazda' it proclaimed the vehicle needed the new crank shaft installed, tire rotation, sparkplugs 2 and 6 replaced, and new transmission fluid.

I could do that.

I still haven't the faintest idea why, but my hands took over after that. It had been awhile since I'd fixed a car but I'd always loved doing it. After finding a greasy sweatshirt that was undoubtedly one of theirs, I pulled it on and got to work. I was absently singing along to the radio when I heard a car pull up in the driveway next door. I continued installing the sparkplugs.

It wasn't until an older man walked in calling, "Quil! Quil?" that I was startled enough to stand up too fast and hit my head on the block. I don't recommend doing that.

Letting out a silent scream of pain, I raised a greasy hand to my forehead and turned. "Umm, he's not here..."

The man looked at me with a confused curiosity. He looked like a smaller, graying Quil except his eyes were wrong. The face was right, wrinkled but right, but the eyes weren't the same. I guess Quil had his mom's eyes. "Who are you?"

Realizing my mistake, I was in his son's garage without permission and without knowing anyone but Emily and the guys, I stuck out my free hand, "Claire Allen, I'm Emily Uley's cousin."

Comprehension swept over his face, "Oh, ok. Billy was just talking about you. If you don't mind me asking, what're you doing here at my son's?"

Fighting embarrassment, I explained tentatively, "Umm, hiding from Abby and Harry actually. Quil had told me about his place and I figured he wouldn't mind, so…"

Quil's dad's gaze made me feel like I was being weighed or something. He wasn't judging me I didn't think but he was…considering me. I wondered what for. Finally, he nodded, "Oh, I'm certain he won't care, Claire. When he comes home would you mind sending him next door? I've go a couple of things to talk to him about."

"Sure," I answered with a smile. Whatever test he had given me, I seemed to have passed, which made me oddly happy. What did I care if Quil's dad approved of me? I hadn't even met Colin's parents yet, nor did he seem in a hurry to introduce us.

"Thank you." With that he turned and left. He and Sam were similar. Kind but no nonsense and when there was nothing left to say they were quiet. I was finding quite a few people around here like that… It must be the mind-reader thing.

A while later, just as I was beginning to search for a jack, did a hand grab my shoulder. I screamed, shooting bolt upright, my head coming in painful contact with something that gave a nasty crunch. I spun around and saw Quil there, holding a now bleeding nose. I felt the color drain from my face, and yet I smiled because he was there. "Oh my god! Quil did I hurt you? I'm so sorry!"

He just laughed, despite red blood dripping through his fingers. "Jeez Claire, I fall asleep on you once and this is what I get."

Rolling my eyes at him, I tried to pry his fingers away, "Oh shut up, you know I didn't do it on purpose. Did I break it?" There was a lot of blood and I swore I heard a crunch. He just shook his head, though, and when he lowered his hand his nose was fine. The bleeding had even stopped after about thirty seconds.

Ok, that was weird.

Sensing my bewilderment I guess, he grabbed my hand and helped me out of the maze of parts I had gotten myself stuck in. "So, what're you doing?"

"Fixing the Mazda. Where's you guys' jack?" Laughing that cute, amazing laugh that made me all tingly, he pointed to a spot maybe six feet from the car. Pursing my lips and putting my hands on my hips I nodded, "Oh. That sneaky little bastard. I've been looking for like ten minutes."

Quil just rolled his eyes and didn't comment. His smug grin made it so he didn't really have to. He just walked over and hauled it out. "What're you doing next?"

"Transmission fluid. I hate that stuff it smells so bad." He just smiled at me as I got down and crawled headfirst under the chassis. "Oh yeah, your dad wanted to talk to you. He said to send you over when you got back."

I could hear his frown. "You met my dad?"

"Yeah, he was looking for you and found me. Why?" I pulled myself out again, looking up at him from my back. He sounded odd and I was suddenly worried.

At my apparent anxiety, he seemed to shake himself, "Oh, oh no reason. Just…just…I'm gonna go over and see what he wants." He practically sprinted from the garage to get away from me.

I got the sudden urge to cry. What had I done? Maybe it was kind of creepy that I showed up at his house? What if I had freaked him out? Why was Quil suddenly running away from me?

Colin did it a lot and it always felt like a stab in my chest. I was always doing things wrong. I wasn't good enough at his games. I was running around in the pouring rain. I was tripping over things. I watched too many Disney movies. I was too emo. My hair didn't look nice enough. My drawings were too horrible. I didn't kiss right. I wouldn't let him touch what he wanted. I wouldn't go with him to Oregon. I wouldn't stay in a hotel room with him so we could have sex.

All my faults were always followed first by yelling and then running. He would just get up and leave…as soon as he got to a place acceptable for saving his game.

My heart was beginning to have such clearly different definitions of Colin and Quil that any overlap hurt. It didn't matter that Colin was my boyfriend and Quil wasn't. I liked what I had in Quil. And what I had in Quil was at the very least a friend that didn't run from me…until now.

I stared forlornly out the door for awhile longer, wondering what I had done and fighting tears, before shaking my sense back into my head and getting back to work. The ratchet in my hand and transmission above me calmed my mind and banished the emo thoughts. I was having too emotional of a week. It was bound to bubble over sometimes.

It was a long time before Quil returned. I had finished everything and was rubbing my hands with oil-removing soap when he sauntered back into the garage. His weirdness from earlier had vanished. Brown eyes sparkling, he snuck up behind me and playfully tickled my sides. Laughing, I tossed my oily rag back in his face as a defensive maneuver.

"Don't you remember anything, Quil? Be nice to the midget!"

He gave me his most innocent, pouting face, "But this is nice." I rolled my eyes at his wide grin. Grabbing my hand, he led me from the building. "Come on, I wanna show you my place."

His house wasn't huge but just like the outside had seemed, it proved cozy. Nothing was too big or too small and nothing was too bachelorish either. Blue was a recurring theme, which I liked. Everything seemed to have a place, and a couple of foot radius in which it was also acceptable. It was so Quil…so perfect.

He was showing me his bedroom when his stomach suddenly growled. I laughed and pushed him good-naturedly, "Damn Quil, don't you even remember to feed yourself? Come on. What do you have for food in this place?" I snatched his hand and dragged him into the kitchen.

Like any man, he responded with intelligence and clarity. "Uh, the normal kind."

Rolling my eyes, I opened his fridge, "Well, what kind of normal food do you want to eat, because I'm going to cook you some."

"You don't have to do that."

"I know. If I did then you'd be paying me and I'd be working at some horrible restaurant. The fact that I'm doing this for free hints that I don't have to do it. What would you like?"

He smiled, "Whatever you want to make."

"Well, I want to make whatever you want to eat so pick something."

"I'm not picky. Just make something at random," his face was smug as he bickered with me.

"I'm not going to make something random because you might not like random," I fired back, eyebrow raised.

"Oh, Claire Bear, you're not winning this one. You're picking whether you like it or not."

I stood there, facing him in the middle of his kitchen, paralyzed. He'd just called me Claire Bear. He'd called me Claire Bear before. I knew he had. Not while I was here the past few days though. I just somehow knew. I had this feeling in the pit of my stomach that I was right. Quil was the one that I'd been waiting for to call me that. He was the one that made Colin's version sound wrong. It was Quil!

I had no idea why this was such a big deal to me but I still couldn't move. I was trying to wrap my head and my heart around this. It was Quil. I was Quil's Claire Bear.

"Claire, are you ok? Claire, what's wrong?" As a hundred emotions washed over my face, Quil had stepped closer, concern becoming prevalent. "Claire…?"

Suddenly unable to do anything but smile, I launched myself forward. Wrapping my arms around his waist, I buried my face in his chest. I began crying. Don't ask me why. It was like knowing that made something snap into place. I know it sounds stupid to start crying about only finding out who began a nickname but it cemented something. It cemented Quil. Quil was a part of my life now and I didn't ever want to leave him and the rest of my family again.

How could a single name—term of endearment even—mean so much to me? I guess it just went to show how pathetic my social existence had been up until then. I was just aching for someone to love me and my heart remembered a connection between the name Claire Bear and someone who would love me. Maybe not romantic love but…

Then why had it felt wrong when Colin called me that? I was dating him. That meant that he should be the one loving me. What was wrong with all this?

Quil was stuck standing there holding a crying woman, clearly confused and freaked out. He asked hesitantly, "Claire, why are you crying?"

Finally pulling away, I looked up at him as I tried to wipe my eyes, "Don't worry about it. I'm just being stupid." I smiled, "So now just stop arguing and tell me what you want to eat."

Curiosity and the urge to push me further as to why I was crying and leaving well enough alone warred with Quil's usually tranquil features. The latter won, "Spaghetti?"

"Spaghetti's a great choice. Do you like mushrooms?"

He shook his head, words still tainted with confusion, "No, not really. They made me sick once and I haven't eaten them since."

After I had finished cooking, and Quil made sure everything tasted acceptable, we ate what was left in his living room. We sat on the floor, using his coffee table to set our food on.

We talked like we had at the beach the day before. It was just this interminable small talk that would venture into deeper things and find no awkwardness awaiting it. I explained to him the situation with my mom and for the first time ever didn't become angry enough to begin braiding. I didn't have to defend myself or justify why I did what I did or why I felt like I felt. I was just talking to Quil: no pressure.

"Yeah, so I ended up going to prom by myself. Tyson, from calculus club, decided that he needed to get some more extra credit that was due the Monday after. He did stop by to give me my flower at least. But he got the wrong color. My dress was green and he bought an orange flower." I laughed at the familiar story of my senior prom but Quil's face was confused again.

"Why would he choose calculus over you?" I felt my face flush. It was a nice feeling of embarrassed though. "But," he continued, "wasn't there anyone else to take you?"

Turning away from him, hiding my reddening face, I busied myself with fidgeting with my shoes lying right beside me. I had long ago removed them and my socks. "No, all my other guy friends had dates already and nobody else was going to take me." I elucidated sarcastically, "As hard as it is to fathom I wasn't exactly popular in high school."

Quil shrugged, "Oh, I wasn't either. Though I did almost get my ass kicked by a senior for hitting on his girlfriend."

"Ooh, Quil was a ladies' man, huh?" I smiled but it made this part of my chest pinch. I didn't want to think about Quil having other girlfriends. Wait, no. I wasn't his girlfriend. I didn't want to think about him having…ummm…fine, any other girlfriends.

I was being horribly selfish but I couldn't help what I felt. I wouldn't let myself like Quil like that and yet I didn't want anyone else to have him either. If that isn't one of the cruelest, most narcissistic things a person can feel then my mom wasn't evil.

He laughed with me but he sent this expressive, heavy gaze at me when he answered, "For a bit but…there was this one event that kind of made that stop. I haven't dated anybody in a long, long time."

My relief made my shame feel that much heavier. Before I could tell it not to, my mouth said, "That's too bad."

There was a loud, not quite awkward silence that hung in the air for a few moments. I wouldn't look up from my clean plate but I knew he was staring at me. Those gorgeous brown black eyes were directed straight at me. I just knew it.

"So, what happened with the prom?" Quil broke the silence, saving me from venturing out of my convalescent silence. "And what do you mean that nobody else would go with you?"

It was surprisingly comforting to resort back to my petty, pathetic high school stories. I shrugged, looking back in his direction again, "I went by myself. It wasn't horrible. I only fell down twice in my heels so I was proud of myself." I tried to give him a fake smile, one of those you put on to make people think you didn't mind something when it really actually hurt like hell. He didn't buy it. That I was under the impression that my Colin pacification smile would work on Quil just shows how stupid I was.

"What about nobody going with you?" He was pushing this question and the initial comfort I had in my past memories faded fast. The funny stories, what ones there were, weren't bad to tell. I liked making Quil laugh. His laugh made me smile. Quil's happiness made me happy. It was a fairly simple direct relationship. One goes up so does the other. But why was he making me go into the not so funny stuff?

"Because outside of calc club and physics club and every other nerd club I was in, no guy knew that my name wasn't Squaw. Everybody always just called me Squaw. Only a few people called me Claire."

I saw the anger filling up his eyes. "It wasn't mean or anything," I cut in to calm him down, the lie unintentionally apparent in my voice, "I didn't mind that much." He wasn't saying anything and the silence was too tense for me. I just blathered on, "Colin's called me it a few times, too. It's not a big deal." It didn't work.

I was a bit worried. Quil was shaking now. No, it was like he was vibrating. I couldn't understand how it was possible but the only way I could describe him was that his form, the lines defining him, were flickering. His eyes had closed and there was a look of extreme concentration on his face.

Hesitantly, I reached forward and touched his arm. My voice held unintended fear, "Quil. Quil, are you ok?"

His hand almost immediately covered mine, squeezing my fingers. The action seemed to ground him. He was his old self as soon as he opened his eyes again. He felt guilty at my fear. His smile made me feel better, but it didn't stay long. The smile faded but his face somehow softened, too.

Ever so slowly, he slid my hand down his arm and then laced our fingers together. Our skin was almost the identical shade. My nail polish was the only difference in anything but size. His hands were rougher, slightly calloused whereas I had artist's hands, smooth except where my pencils rested. They seemed like two pieces of a puzzle. And now that they were put together, everything was right again.

I looked at our hands intertwined, too content to acknowledge they shouldn't be. When I shifted my eyes upward again, Quil was staring where I had been. Time ceased to exist in those moments. I honestly couldn't say if we sat like that for a few seconds or a few hours. It didn't really matter.

When he looked back up at me, my breath caught and my heart sped up. His eyes were deeper and intense and more focused on me than I had ever seen before. It felt like he was staring right into me. Then suddenly, he grinned. "Claire Bear, I'd never call you Squaw. You're way too beautiful and amazing and I love you too much."

I don't know if it was his words or how he suddenly leaned forward heading straight for my lips that made my heart soar. A smile formed out of nowhere on my mouth. The seconds dragged by in slow motion as he got closer and closer. A war was breaking out in my head.

Half of me was screaming, "Claire, you whore, you're dating Colin." The louder half shot back, "Fuck off! I want him to kiss me!"

I could feel his breath on my lips when he paused for a second, looking up to catch my eyes. I think I smiled again. His own smile widened and he began to close those last few centimeters…

Then the front door burst open, followed by five tall, shirtless Quileute guys. Exactly who I wanted to see at that moment! We flew away from each other, me smacking my knee on the table in my scramble to get up. What I had just done came fully crashing down upon me.

Oh, my God! Claire, you're such a slut!

After I exclaimed, "Shit!" when I hit my knee, there was complete silence. I mean pin-drop and fly cough kind of silence. If anything, I think everyone could hear my heart pumping all the blood into my cheeks as I blushed furiously. Quil looked caught between ecstasy that hadn't worn off and brand new mortification and livid annoyance.

Predictably, I began braiding. My fingers had flown down my hair from scalp to tips when Jacob, after scanning from one of us to the other, said with a failing straight face and what I assumed was supposed to be a casual, conversational voice, "H-hey Claire. What's up? I heard you fell in the mud today."

The laughter was beginning. I could sense it. I didn't find it funny. I felt so horrible that their chuckles made me want to throw up. In a flurry of motion, I snatched up my purse, shoes and socks and sprinted for the door. I didn't even bother to answer. Tears were pouring down my cheeks before I hit the porch.

I was sobbing when my feet touched down on the muddy road.

How could I have just almost done that? I had never been that kind of girl. I didn't cheat on people. I was such a whore. That wasn't me. I hated cheaters…with a passion! I was becoming what I hated. When did everything get so damn confusing?

As I ran, I grasped for my phone. After powering it on, I found the screen displaying a message saying I had three missed calls and twenty-four unread messages. Hitting the speed dial for voice mail, I began listening to Colin's first message.

"Hey Claire Bear… Oh, yeah, sorry. I forgot you don't like it when I call you that. Sorry. Uhh, I got bumped out of Halo 2 today, but I guess that's not really important. I-I miss you baby. I know I was mean to you before and I shouldn't have yelled. We were both upset. I shouldn't have called you a bitch, no matter what you said. I was…was…I was wrong. I-I admit it. It's my fault. It wasn't right of me to scream at you like that. And-and I should have respected your decision to stay in Seattle. If you don't feel comfortable staying in the same room with me, I shouldn't have pushed it. I don't think there's anything I've actually done right in the last couple of days. It's taken me a little bit to figure it out, I know but I've fixed it. I know what I did. I won't do it again, I promise. Just, just please stop ignoring my calls and my messages, honey. I want my cutie Claire back. …I need you so, so much, Claire. Well, I-I guess bye. Please, please text me or something."

All the others were like that, in varying degrees of sorrow and begging. What little self-esteem I had at that point plunged down into the mud puddles I was running through. I burst through Emily's front door, still sobbing hysterically, my sides heaving. I dropped my purse and shoes and collapsed straight onto the floor.

Immediately rising, Emily ran over to me from where she had been cuddling with Sam on the couch. Their painfully obvious and irreversible love for each other just made me ache more. She wrapped her arms around me and asked what was wrong. I couldn't answer. I just held onto her for dear life and cried.

I was dating Colin. He was sweet and he needed me. I was with him. Him, not Quil, him! But…but Quil was so amazing and perfect and effortless and cute and just so…right in every single way. He fit me. And…and he loved me? I couldn't decide if that made me ecstatic or slightly scared.

Why did everything have to be so damn hard?


	7. Oh No

All right, so this one is short, too. Therefore, I'll get the next one up tonight. We're actually starting to flirt with the end so if you've got any suggestions, etc throw 'em at me. I'm always up for a little revising if it'll make a story better. Thanks :)

* * *

><p>With my full night's worth of emotions, I needed to clear my head the next morning when I woke up on the couch. I guess Sam had picked me up and put me there the night before. Nobody was up yet from the looks of things, so I just changed clothes. I reluctantly, dejectedly hauled myself into an old high school t-shirt and some comfy green sweatpants. I stared at my necklace in the mirror for a long time. I couldn't bring myself to take it off. Then I picked up my purse and left the house.<p>

I came upon the spot Quil had taken me to the first time. I found that cliff overlooking the ocean. I'd found it cheered me up last time. I sat down on the ground and dug out my sketchpad. I tried to sketch the view in front of me. The waves were beautiful, the clouds endless, the trees gorgeous. Every time I put pencil to paper though, my hand didn't draw those things.

Before I knew it, I hadn't drawn a picture of the surroundings. I looked down and saw Quil staring back up at me. I froze as it hit me what I'd just done. Shaking my head, I recrossed my legs and tried again. I focused on the waves and the swells that rose and fell was such consistency. I sat there as the sky darkened and mist moved in. Smiling to myself, knowing that I'd gotten it right this time, I looked at my finished work. My waves had turned into Quil again. I slammed the book shut.

What did this mean? It was bad enough what Emily and I had discussed the morning before and then last night.

When did my love life become so confusing? I was trying to love Colin…but I liked Quil too? Everything that I'd done in the past few days since I got here bombarded me at once. Quil and I went to the beach. Quil comforted me after I got in a fight with Colin. Quil had given me my necklace. Quil and I fixed a car together. Quil had made me feel better. Quil spent time with me. Quil talked to me. Quil and I fell asleep on the couch. Quil hugged me. Quil stared at me with gorgeous brown eyes that made me want to do nothing but stare back. Quil had tried to kiss me. Quil made my heart race. Quil made me _want_ to kiss him. Quil made me feel like everything was perfect.

In the course of three days, Quil had made me fall in love with him… Quil wasn't Colin.

Oh shit.

Fate, you're a bitch again. You just like playing with me. Don't deny it you sadistic bitch.

My hands were shaking as I gently put the sketchpad back into my purse. How did this happen? And why did a part of me feel pure, unrestrained joy? Why did that part also want me to find him and take him back up on that kiss he tried to give me the night before?

I sat there, staring out at the waves for hours and hours. I walked back into town in a daze when I became cold. It was pitch dark out and I was still wandering around by the light of the few streetlamps. I'd been walking in circles without it really registering. I was still trying to process. It wasn't going so well. I was like a computer with Windows 95 attempting to run a state-of-the-art video game. I was overloaded and slow.

Jake was the one who found me finally. He jogged up to me, as per usual, in a pair of red basketball shorts and a smile. "Claire, hey, we've been looking everywhere for you. Emily got worried when you didn't come back. She thought you'd gotten lost." When I didn't acknowledge him he frowned and went on, "Are you ok?"

I felt my head nod, "Yeah." My voice sounded strange. It was choked like right after I watched the sad part of a movie and was trying to stop crying. Had I been crying? Reaching a hand up to my face, I felt the wet tears. It could have just been the rain…

He seemed to consider that for a long moment. I don't think I had him fooled but he merely took a gentle hold of my arm and steered me in the right direction. "Hey, Claire, I'm sorry about last night. We didn't mean to embarrass you." I just shrugged in as off-handed a way as I could manage.

I don't remember getting back to Emily's or being put onto the couch. Nor do I recall falling asleep. Yet, before I knew it the sun had risen again.


	8. Scared

My mood remained unaltered from the night before as I lay on the couch, attempting to cling to the haven of sleep as the sun rose higher and higher through the windows. I still didn't know what to do or how I felt or what I thought. I was confused, more confused than I ever had been before. And as I soon found out, the bonfire was today. The one where all the guys and the elders came...including Quil's dad and Billy.

Joy…

Billy would want to talk and would be his normal mind reader self and Quil's dad kind of scared me…

I just had the feeling that this was not going to go well. I don't know how but I knew it.

All was revealed as correct after Emily and I cooked in silence for a while. I had finally decided to stop feigning sleep and walked into the kitchen where she was already hard at work. I came up next to her and started slicing onion for what looked like potato salad. She looked at me, heavy questions and concern on the one side of her face. I looked resolutely down.

She was quiet but determined when she commented, "Have you talked to Quil lately?"

"No." She knew the answer to that. Why was she asking?

"You should, you know." She sounded surprisingly stern, but I knew she had to mean well. Yet, it felt like there was just enough patronizing in her simple statement that I was reminded of my mother. A swing in my mood that I hadn't had to deal with since I moved away from home struck me. I was all out angry. I threw the knife down and my hands immediately went to my hair.

"Oh, why? Why should I? So I can go and apologize for getting his hopes up because I'm a whore? Because I can't get it through my stupid fucking head that I've already got a boyfriend? Is that what I should go and talk to Quil about? So I can tell him that we just have to be friends!"

My braid was done and my hands clenched into fists so hard my green nails were digging into my palms, almost drawing blood. "So I can explain to him that it doesn't matter that I like him. I should have known better and not gotten involved because I already have Colin! So I can tell Quil that I'm so fucking pathetic that him showing me the slightest bit of kindness and friendship made me jump off the deep end and turn into a slut! What do you want me to tell him? That even if there was the slightest chance that he could like me that way, that I can't date him because I'm dating Colin, who I am crazy about and because I'm not the type of girl who breaks up with one person so I can date another! Is that why I should talk to him?"

Emily's distorted face had turned into something truly sinister by the time I was done screaming. The spoon she was holding was visibly shaking in her hand and she looked ready to chuck it at me. She screeched right back. "Why the hell can't you break up with him? He can't treat you right, not from what I heard. And he'll never, ever, _NEVER _be able to treat you as good as Quil can. You may think you're a whore but have you even taken the time to see the way Quil looks at you? Does," she literally spat out his name, "_Colin _look at you like that? Can you see the love in his eyes when he glances over at you? Does he make your stomach get butterflies when Colin condescends to look up from his stupid video game at you? Does Colin just seem to fit you in every way?"

I stood there in fuming silence, refusing to look at her. Too much of what she said was true. Out of nowhere, her hand had shot out and grasped my chin, squeezing until it was almost painful. She forced me to look at her when she exclaimed, "Quil loves you, all right! He's loved you since he saw you walk back through that door! I can't explain it and neither can he and neither can you. But he loves you and somewhere inside that confused, battered heart of yours you know that you're positively crazy about him. You know that you won't ever find anybody better. He's your Sam! You're his imprint—_soul mate_—for him! He seems to fit you because he does! Stop hiding behind that pitiful excuse for a boyfriend you have because somebody might actually truly love you!"

Her eyes had softened and she gently let go of my face. She sighed before turning back to her mixing bowl. "That boy just can't catch a break when it comes to you, Claire..."

I frowned in confusion but she wasn't saying a word more. I picked the knife back up and resumed chopping. I swept the onion bits into the potato salad before pausing and looking over at her. The tears streaming down my face weren't from the onions. "Emily…I'm scared."

Wrapping one arm around me, she nodded, "I know, honey. I know."

* * *

><p>I hid in the bathroom under the front of finding something decent to wear when Quil came to the house. I could hear Emily explaining where I was to him. I never heard an answer from him. He left with the other guys not long after. Abby and Harry must have noticed how down I was because they insisted that I walk with them down to their babysitter's down the road on the way to the beach. I agreed, if only to escape from any questions before I got there.<p>

A mile later, I found myself sore from carrying both kids and walking up to a huge bonfire lit on the beach. It was just cool enough that the heat felt nice through my sweatshirt. I couldn't help but smile…until I saw Quil staring forlornly at me.

The ache I got whenever he looked anything but happy sprang up into my chest. I wasn't even there five minutes and I already felt like crying. Blinking determinedly, I looked away from him and greeted Billy. I could see the looks he sent from me to Quil every now and then but he never asked about them. For that I was thankful. Billy was nothing if not a tactful, compassionate guy and I loved him for it.

We chatted for a while as it got slowly darker and closer to supper time. As I scanned the beach again, trying to discover if Quil was any happier—that answer of which was no-, I realized that Sue was there. Smiling for the first time, I queried, "Hey, that's Sue Swan, right?"

Billy nodded, "Yeah, come on. She's an elder too, you know."

We came upon the woman who had single-handedly delivered me to my real family again pretty much. I was more than grateful to her, even if my emotions weren't being so simple at the moment. As she turned when Billy rolled up, she leapt forward and hugged me. "Claire, how have you been? I'm so glad you decided to come up! Oh, this is my husband, Charlie."

A Caucasian man about Billy's age with graying black hair and a mustache in a cop's uniform shook my hand. He seemed really nice. Quiet, but nice.

Sue latched onto me immediately. She linked arms with me and started a full on interrogation of the last few days. I didn't mind. I was able to talk about all the happy parts while skipping out on my insane whore tendencies and the emotional cataclysm I was unsuccessfully attempting to overcome.

We all sat down in a circle not long after. I had a plate of food in front of me that I nibbled at. Emily's cooking was amazing but I had inadvertently sat down right across the fire from Quil. I couldn't take my eyes off him if I had wanted to and he looked positively miserable. His misery took away my appetite as efficiently as his happiness.

Even so, my plate sat forgotten on my lap as Billy and Quil's dad began telling the legends. They were in material the same as what Billy had told me the day I first came but the way they told them and the atmosphere added a whole new dimension. I sat there, just staring at them enraptured as they spoke. At least, I did until their story deviated from the one Billy had told me.

Where he had stopped that day, he continued on this time. Now, the characters in the legends were _very_ familiar. I heard the names Sam Uley, Jacob Black, and Seth Clearwater… I was paralyzed as a story revolving around a pack of wolves that were my new friends and their fight alongside vampires named the Cullens unraveled.

Whoa, what?

At first, I laughed. But nobody else did. This time everyone wasn't in an entranced stupor with me. They were _remembering_. I couldn't explain why but I knew that these two men, these elders, weren't lying. They were telling me things that had actually happened.

I was scared now. The plate of food dropped from my lap and laid there upside down on the sand. I sent wild looks in every direction though no one was even looking around to notice my horror.

They were telling me that I was surrounded by some sort of _werewolves_?

But they hadn't mentioned Quil. I'd been spending most of my time with him and he was still normal, right? Then it came. "And so later, after the redheaded cold one reappeared, Quil Ateara joined the pack and became a spirit warrior with his brothers..."

Billy continued talking but I didn't hear anymore. My eyes were riveted on Quil.

Huh? No! As if the last few days hadn't been hard enough now one of the guys in question was a _werewolf_?

I began crawling back away from the fire as my artist's mind began putting in the faces of wolves I'd been drawing for years behind the guys'. They were the wolves from my dreams! Sam had to be the black one that was always leading me away from danger. Jake, the big russet one that played with me like a puppy. Seth, the one that always licked my face. And Quil… Quil was my favorite. He was the chocolate one that had never stopped visiting my dreams.

I froze there on the sand as something occurred to me.

What my stepfather had always called my 'Speed of Einstein' thought streak broke through all the muddled emotions and something rational came out of my contemplation. I replayed everything I'd heard about wolves in the last few days and anything else that anyone had mentioned and I didn't understand, trying to find a connection of some kind.

About five seconds later, I'd leapt upright and demanded with terror quivering in my voice, "What the fuck is an imprint?"

Robert hadn't been teasing when he said 'Speed of Einstein'. I never liked to brag about being smart or anything and with anything but books and information, I was a complete idiot—look at my love life for the week before the bonfire for example—but sifting through data I could do as well as a computer in the right mindset.

Sam was one of these werewolf guys. He was married to Emily so she had to know the ins and outs of all this. Emily had said Quil was my Sam. I was Quil's imprint. That's what had slipped out that she had covered with soul mate. That's the only way I could connect myself into this. It's what I didn't understand that directly involved me…aside from being surrounded by a pack of _werewolves_, creatures that don't even exist!

My outburst broke the spell of the storytelling. Everyone turned to stare straight at me. My eyes shot from person to person, searching for someone to explain they were joking and I was overreacting like always.

Nobody did. Goddamn it! The silence was tense and I suddenly felt exactly like I was back home standing in a room with my mother when I asked about Washington. It was the silence filled with that patronizing 'doing it for your own good' ideology.

"What the fuck is it?" The silence continued on. I rounded on Emily, "You're the one who let it slip, now what is it? How am I connected to whatever werewolf _thing_ that Quil is? TELL ME NOW!"

I recoiled as the first movement aside from my own popped up in my peripheral vision. Quil had risen and taken a step toward me, hands outstretched as if trying to explain. My eyes went wide and I put out a hand, "Don't, _don't_ fucking touch me!" His face fell and a pained look clung to his features. That pang and ache I got whenever he had that look leapt up now, despite everything, especially when he acquiesced and sat back down without a word of defense.

Tears were freely streaming down his face and my heart broke somewhere down inside me because of it.

Emily stood and for the first time, I saw her look genuinely scared. What for I couldn't figure out. She began crying as she tried several times to get her words out. "An-an imprint is their version of a soul mate, like I said. They've got love at first sight. There's no confusion or going back for them. When they see their imprint they know and they love you for the rest of their lives. It's supposed to be rare but… I-I'm Sam's imprint. Kim is Jared's. Jake's sister Rachel is Paul's. And-and you're Quil's. You have been since you were two…"

I saw Quil flinch out of the corner of my eye. I thought I heard him whimper, "No, don't mention that part…"

He wasn't wrong. I couldn't have been able to move less than if I'd had a third vertebrae spinal cord injury. I couldn't even blink. I attempted to process again. Einstein wasn't running at full capacity this time. Maybe he'd drank too much wine at a bar mitzvah. "Wha-WHAT?" I couldn't breathe.

My hair was braided and my fingers were caught doing the motion through the empty air. I started again. I couldn't deal with this. What was this? Whatever it was I couldn't deal with it. Why had this week ever happened to me? I dropped my hair and put a hand to my forehead as I tried to blink away my tears.

"Oh my god, what-what the hell is wrong with me? I-I'm a failure at anything remotely social. My mom thinks I'm a freak who's going to kill myself. I have three siblings I have never held a normal conversation with. I don't even _have_ a biological dad as far as I've ever known. I don't have anything I'd consider family for nineteen years and-and then I find one and-and they turn out to be a pack of _shape-shifting werewolves_ that shouldn't even exist because werewolves aren't REAL! Either that or they're a group of crazy people."

"Then…then, I fall in love with one of them and it turns out he's had a thing for me since I was fucking two! What the fuck is wrong with me? Why can't anything I have be the slightest bit normal? Goddamn it!" I couldn't hold back a sob.

"Just fuck my life… Why can't you be kidding? Please, just be kidding…"

Emily stepped forward to hug me but I jumped back, immediately terrified again. This wasn't right. None of this was right. Everything was all wrong! She lowered her arms and spoke gently, "Claire, I-I know it's a lot to take in and you weren't supposed to find out about imprints yet. But, please, don't freak out. I wanted to when I first found out but just give it a little time. It'll be all right."

I stared at her, shocked, "No. No, _none_ of this is right! None of this will ever be all right! How am I not supposed to freak out? How-how am I supposed to deal with this? I'm in a family of like… clinically insane mental patients or fucking _monsters_!" My legs were running and I was only too happy to follow. I sprinted out into the darkness, oblivious to everything but my terror and misery.

I could not be ok with this. They were _werewolves_…WEREWOLVES! None of this made any sense.

It was raining again when I saw the familiar glow of the house's lights. The drops didn't comfort me for the first time as I pounded down the driveway. But I stopped short when I saw a blue Chevy Cavalier bathed in the light. I knew that car…!

His nappy, black with front bleach striped hair and eyeliner couldn't have been more welcome ever. "COLIN!"

His face brightened for the few seconds I saw it before I reached him. I slammed into him, hugging him and burying my face in his neck, clutching normal as much as him. Finally, someone normal and _human_… He didn't seem to know what to do at first but eventually he wrapped his arms round me. I hugged him all the tighter for it.

"Hey Claire, babe. I missed you so much," he whispered in my ear.

Immediately smiling at the words I had never before heard from him in person, I pulled back and looked at him. It was hard to see his eyes behind all his hair but I took them as sincere. Acting boldly for once, I put a hand behind his head and fiercely kissed him. I didn't know how he was here but I was glad and I didn't want to ever let him go.

He grinned when he pulled away, "Wow, someone missed me." I tried to smile back but it didn't work. He frowned, "What's wrong, Claire?"

"Colin, take me home. Please, just take me back right now. Let me grab my bag and let's go."

He nodded with concern in his voice, "Ok. Whatever you want." He eased himself into the driver's seat as I ran inside. Bag in hand, I emerged seconds later. We were on our way the hell out of La Push within five minutes. I didn't care about my car at the moment. I wasn't sure if I'd care about it ever. How was I supposed to go back through some _supernatural creatures_ to get it?

Colin began talking, telling me about his tournament and asking me about my stay and I tried to pay attention. I really did. But soon, with my head leaning against the window, I fell asleep, finally getting respite from the impossibility called that day.

I dreamt of a chocolate colored wolf sitting all alone on a cliff overlooking the ocean, howling his broken heart out to the empty sky. I woke up sobbing silently, sending trails of tears down the window.


	9. Can't Take It Back

"Claire, are you absolutely sure you're all right?" Aubrey asked me for the twelfth time since she'd returned from her home for break a week early. It ended up her mom had wanted her back but not quite that much. I'd been a lot quieter than usual, practically mute, and she apparently noticed.

She was looking at me with concern from her bed as I sat on the floor leaning against a Halo-playing Colin. He didn't mind as much now. He'd been much nicer since he'd found me at Emily's. I'd asked—once we returned and I was in a non-sobbing state of mind—how he'd found it. Apparently the waitress who said I looked like Emily directed him when he stopped by for some food on his way to get me back. I kept strongly telling myself I was glad she did. He still played video games but he didn't ignore me as much, for which I was grateful. It made my heart feel better about running away from Quil.

There I was being all worried about him running away from me and I was the one that left without a good-bye…

"Yeah, I'm fine. You still want help with your organic chemistry report?" I asked, blatantly changing the subject. She'd notice and she knew exactly what I was doing but I didn't care.

Blue eyes narrowing, she shook her head. "No, it's fine. I still have a whole week to do it. We all still have a week to do whatever…" She wanted me to go back. I'd told her everything about my stay, excepting the werewolf and imprint thing. I figured that they didn't want me to tell anyone about that. I cared about the guys all enough that I wasn't going to do that to them, even if they now scared me to death.

Aubrey was convinced that I had made a mistake, which I didn't understand. She was the one who had set me up with Colin. He was her friend. Why was she trying to get me to go back to Quil?

I made sure the silence from my lack of answer was loud and clear. She was wrong. She had to be. I was not going back. I was with Colin and I was happy. He'd even taken me out to dinner the night before and we came back and had a Disney movie marathon. He didn't ignore me for video games and aliens on Halo weren't more important. I was loved and needed again, right! End of story…

* * *

><p>"So, how long is Aubrey going to be gone again?" Colin asked as he saved his game and put up the controller. I shrugged as he joined me on my bed two nights after Aubrey had accused me of needing to go back. She had left the day before, disappearing on a mysterious errand she was too mad at me to explain.<p>

"She said she'd be back tomorrow, I guess." I was in the middle of drawing something on a spare piece of paper so I didn't notice that he was effectually pulling his shirt off before lying down next to me. "Why? Do you need to call her or something—what the hell?" He'd snaked his arms around me and was then trying to lay me back on my bed from the sitting position I'd had.

Smiling at me, he said, "You know, she's not here so we've got plenty of alone time…"

"And this right here is supposed to make me _excited_ about that or something?" Generally, he didn't just spring undressing himself around me. If it was summer and stifling hot I could understand but why was he shirtless and now _straddling_ me?

He chose not to answer and instead very forcibly, I guess 'passionately,' pressed his lips against mine. That pretty much turned my thought process off. It had been awhile since we had had alone time and after all my heart confusion it was so, _so_ nice to be able to just kiss somebody. No worries and no thoughts and no guilt. I just wrapped my fingers in his hair and fell into his kiss.

At least for that initial split second…

Some part of me was longing for and missing that butterfly-filled excitement that Quil had caused when he tried to kiss me. It missed not being able to breathe. It wanted that contentment that came from knowing that Quil loved me.

Claire, stop being ridiculous! Colin loves you, too!

I let myself hide from myself in making out. Colin was far from a bad kisser, at least I thought. I had no one to compare to. It didn't feel bad, that was for sure. I ignored the fact he was still on top of me.

I ignored him until I felt my shirt being unbuttoned. My eyes shot open with surprise and I pushed Colin up. "What are you doing?"

He laughed this dismissive little laugh that was supposed to be sultry, "Calm down, Claire. Don't you like it when I kiss you?" Wriggling my jeans down even more, he smirked up at me as he attempted to make out with my hipbone and still pull the pants down.

"NO! Get off me!" I snatched my jeans back up and scrambled away from him. I looked at him with horror. What the fuck did he think he was doing? We hadn't even talked about this yet!

He became suddenly very angry. "God dammit, Claire! What am I supposed to do? You're mad at me so I apologize. You don't like what I do so I change. Can't I get something out of this deal? A guy needs something every now and then, Claire! Don't you know anything?"

I had to braid my hair just to keep from slapping him. "No, no apparently I don't! I was mad because you were being a dick and you weren't good to me! If changing was such an imposition why didn't you just break up with me and let it be without the effort?"

His long bangs flew up as he yelled, "Because I thought you might be ok, that's why!"

"Then why was Call of Duty always more important than _me_! And I've never had a boyfriend before! I'm a _virgin_ for God's sake! We haven't even been dating for a full two months and you want to just jump me? You just don't do that!" I pushed him all the way off my bed this time.

"Well, you also don't completely write off all physical contact with the person you're dating just because you've never done it before. You have to learn somehow, Claire!"

Obviously, he'd never heard of Google. They will teach you anything.

Now suddenly fighting tears, I asked, "Colin, do you love me? Honestly, are you _in_ love with me?"

He stared at me like it was the stupidest question I could have ever asked him. "What kind of a question is that? We've been dating less than two months! How could I _love_ you?"

I was biting my lip so hard trying not to cry that it began bleeding. "Exactly, you don't love me. You want to make love to me without actually loving me. There's something wrong with that, Colin. And…and I don't love you. I'll never love you. I'm sorry but you need to leave—_now_."

Twenty minutes later, Colin was long gone and I was sobbing into my pillow filling Aubrey's voicemail with what an idiot I'd been. What struck me was that I wasn't crying because Colin and I had broken up. I was sobbing my broken heart out because I'd lost Quil.

Now that I was faced with the prospect of being all alone I realized that I didn't give a damn if he was some weird supernatural werewolf thing who had liked me when I was little. I couldn't believe that it had been in a creepy way. I loved him. I was crazily in love with him! But not because I didn't want to be alone. I _missed_ him so much. I wanted to be hugging him while sobbing my eyes out. It was what felt right.

I had fucked up my _only_ chance.

I'd walked away and there was no going back now. I'd eaten my cake and now couldn't have it and all it was giving me was emotional indigestion.

line

Sleep wasn't easy and wasn't fun. I kept chasing after my chocolaty Quil wolf and he kept running from me. I couldn't catch him and he never looked back to even glance at me…

New thoughts about the guys being werewolves were now eating at me. I'd been terrified of them but apparently they hadn't been scary enough to kill me when I was little. And why would I have _good_ dreams about wolves that scared me? If they were bad why would I still dream about Quil? I still didn't understand how they were what they were but I realized that they couldn't be evil. That just didn't make sense. And I had gone and called them _monsters_…and mental patients.

Four forty-three was what the clock glared at me. I waited a bit and four forty-four came a lifetime after. I'd completely given up on even attempting sleeping. Now I just stared at those neon green numbers and repeatedly and incessantly told myself what a dumbass I was. Finally sighing, I pushed myself up and turned the light on.

Grabbing my Advanced Ecology Principles book, I settled down to do some unassigned end of the unit questions. I was caught up in all my classes but I loved this course. I'd been working ahead for a while. It felt good to read the questions and hunt for answers that I actually knew and wouldn't cause blubbering and heartache.

By a cruel decision of that bitch fate, the second chapter I came to focused on effects of carnivore groups. The principle example was wolf packs. I saw the first picture of a gray wolf standing serenely with a forested background and I broke down all over again.

"God dammit!" I screamed, hurling the perfectly good textbook across the room. At that point, I was so mad at myself that I wanted to make myself suffer. I deserved everything for how horrible I'd been. I deserved every unhappiness. Every tear was mine all mine.

I got up and went to the TV. I grabbed _Tarzan_ out off the shelf we used for DVDs. I popped it in, hoping it would make me realize even more profoundly what a dumbass I was. I was halfway through blubbering pathetically along with the words of _You'll Be in My Heart_ when I remembered. Everything that had ceased to exist about myself and my early childhood came whooshing back in a dazzlingly painful clarity.

I remembered making Quil watch this movie over and over. I remembered singing it so loud he had to cover his ears. I remembered wrestling with him on a couch. I remembered him tucking me in for naptime. I remembered ganging up on him with Embry and Jake. I remembered finding my rock at the beach. I remembered smashing a muffin in his face at breakfast one morning. Well, that explained my love of muffins. I remembered him taking my hand before we crossed the street. I remembered making him dress up like a princess with me at my birthday party. I remembered smearing the glittery make-up all over his face.

I remembered him being the perfect big brother. Nothing more. No creepiness.

I also remembered my mom telling me we were moving away so I wouldn't be around _him_. I understood now why she was so frightened of Washington. Quil was why she hadn't wanted me to go to college here. She thought that I needed to be protected from him…like he was going to _hurt_ me or something.

And after fifteen years I had given my mom her wish. I would never get to be with Quil. Except now it hurt so much more because he wasn't a brother anymore. He was the man I was hopelessly in love with. He was perfect and I'd blown it.

I was so stupid. After all the kindness they had all showed me why hadn't I at least stuck around to hear them explain? And Quil…_Quil_ would never do anything to hurt me! And I had just declared them all freaks and ran. What was wrong with me?

With still more tears pouring from my eyes, I eventually fell asleep watching my favorite movie and thinking about my favorite person.

* * *

><p>"What…these….Claire's? No…freshmen don't…advanced classes…" I heard a vaguely familiar male voice laced with confusion from my half-conscious state. Someone had turned the light on…or was that the Sun? It didn't matter. Whatever it was it was bright and should be turned off. I buried my head deeper into my still wet pillow.<p>

As I was pulled unwillingly from sleep, I understood the answering woman's voice more easily. "Didn't…tell you? She's got the credits of a junior. She only has two more years unless she wants her masters'. She's got the highest IQ I've ever seen. I tricked her into taking one of those tests because I'm a psych major. She scored a 152. That's like Einstein level."

"She skipped that part."

Who I now recognized as Aubrey laughed, "That's not surprising. For some reason she thinks she's some kind of freak…Colin didn't help with that. She's lonely a lot. She tried to deny it but her family situation hurt her more than she let herself know."

Tension flicked on like a switch. But not just tension, it was anger. Another man's voice broke in, "Come on, Aubrey, let's go. Quil can take it from here."

I could hear the smile in her voice, "Ok, Embry. Here, I'll show you the cafeteria." She sounded genuinely happy, as did Embry once I thought about it.

But then what Embry said registered… Quil was here. I was going to have to face Quil again. I couldn't decide if that was utterly amazing or terribly terrifying. I held onto the guise of sleep for a bit longer before looking around to see Quil sitting on the end of my bed.

He'd known I was awake. I could tell. Sniffing back tears that had welled up again, I said simply, "Hi…"

"Hey, Claire bear." I couldn't tell what was going on inside his head. His expression was a blank page and I was getting nothing from it.

The profound silence that was threatening to engulf us continued on, growing in strength. Biting back my fear, I looked up and said "I'm sorry" at the exact time he did.

Our eyes caught for the first time and a smile swept across his face. That tiny little smile made my heart soar. It made all my fears and doubts vanish. Quil had smiled ere go, everything was all right.

I opened my mouth to contest that he had nothing to apologize for but he beat me to it. "Claire, you shouldn't feel sorry. Claire…there was no reason why you should have found everything out like that and it was the last thing I wanted. It killed me to see you hurt. I know it's weird and crazy and impossible but I love you and I would never want to hurt you. I promise you."

Sighing, he let his head drop into his hands and he plowed on, "Maybe if you'd been around it would've been different but this was no way to tell you. And I knew you had a boyfriend. I shouldn't have pushed this on you. It was selfish of me. I just… I just love you so much, Claire bear. And, I promise when you first came back, I didn't love you that way. It was just like back then. It was brotherly but then, you were…well, awesome and it changed to me being _in_ love with you…"

Scoffing at him, I interjected, "Quil, there was no reason why I couldn't have just stayed put and listened to you explain it to me. Not that Emily isn't a good source or anything, but it's you that I love and I should have heard it from your mouth before running off without even giving you guys a good-bye!"

He started, growing hope in his eyes, when I said love. But he then frowned, ready to defend me against myself again, when I shook my head, scooting closer to him on my bed. "Quil, I've trusted you my whole life. I should have actually acted on that trust for once in my life."

"Whole life? But it's been fifteen years, five months, twenty-one days since you moved away. How—?" He blushed at my raised eyebrow at that last comment. I just laughed before taking one of his hands in mine, so I could look at it and not him for my next confession.

"You never left me, Quil. Not really. You know how I said I used to dream about wolves and everything….Well, there was this certain dark brown wolf that never stopped coming into my dreams. You were always there on my birthdays and Christmas, when I was sad or upset. You were always there for me."

He stared at me so intently that I became self-conscious. There was too much intensity after such a confession.

Finally, he broke the silence since it seemed I didn't have the guile to. "Claire, you do understand—know that…back then I didn't…it wasn't like _that_ kind of love, right?"

"Of course! I-I know that's why I freaked out at first but," I laughed at myself self-deprecatingly, "I kinda watched Tarzan and had a few memories of my early years come back to me. I'm so sorry I dressed you up like a princess!"

He laughed his genuinely happy Quil laugh that made my heart take flight. Wrapping an arm around my shoulders and pulling me in for a hug, he sighed, "I love you, Claire. So much. And not because I have to or anything. I love you because you're you and you're perfect."

I leaned into his embrace, his words being exactly what I'd been aching to hear my entire life. I looked up at him and met his gaze with mine full of happiness I knew. "Quil…I love you, too."

His smile never once faded as he ran one of his impossibly warm hands down my cheek. Without any hesitation or even a care if someone walked in on us this time, he leaned down and gently pressed his lips to mine. I was only too happy and love-struck to kiss him passionately back.

Being loved by Quil every day and getting to kiss him and be held by him whenever the fancy struck one of us became the sun in my sky and the gravity of my world. I wasn't going to ever let him go. I pure and simple loved him too much.


	10. Closure

A/N: All right, so college kind of kicked me in the butt. Between 16 credit hours and marching band, all I've had time for is homework and sunburn. On that thought train, I am sincerely sorry for the long wait in between this and the last chapter. Note to self, getting up at 5am is great for writer's block and muse disappearance. So, let me know what you think and thanks for reading. :)

* * *

><p>"Quil, come on, I have to go to class!" I tried in vain to escape from the heater in the shape of an arm that was surrounding my middle.<p>

Quil merely groaned in my general direction. I loved him but he was in no way conducive to getting to eight o'clock class. Aubrey was lucky: Embry was a morning person. Just thinking that made me smile. I loved Quil. Quil loved me. Supernatural wolf tendencies aside, this was about as normal a relationship I'd ever had and I was freaking loving it. If I was smart, I would've been on the lookout for something to go wrong. This was me we were talking about after all.

The last week had passed very nicely with a three day trip back to La Push that included me begging everyone for forgiveness. I got hugged a lot. Then, with Quil complaining about the lackluster size of my car the whole way, I drove back to the dorms. Quil had been hogging most of my twin size bed ever since. It's a very good thing it was extra-long.

It hadn't occurred to me yet that maybe it was a little odd that I wouldn't even consider sex with a guy I'd been dating for over a month, but I was perfectly fine sleeping in the same bed as a guy I'd been dating for a week.

After I finally roused Quil, I forced him to put a shirt on so he could walk me to class. I was perfectly fine with the lack of shirt but I was the only one I wanted seeing it. He might've been the one who could turn into a wolf, but I didn't want to find out what I'd turn into if I had to fight off any college girls.

It was pleasantly foggy as we made our way across campus to the science building. We were almost there—with maybe ten minutes to spare—when Quil suddenly stopped. His head cocked oddly to the side, like he was smelling for something. I frowned, "What's up?"

He didn't answer for a long moment. His head just turned to the side and I thought I saw him pale. He all but picked me up when he replied, now hurrying toward the door, "We need to get inside."

I laughed, "I know. I've got class. What's wrong?" He still didn't answer. Locking my knees and putting a hand against his chest, I asked with worry, "Quil, what's wrong?"

His sigh came out more of a whine when he suddenly slumped in defeat, "She's here." Before I could question the antecedent of that pronoun, my answer was marching lividly out of the fog at us.

"Mom?"

I looked in sheer shock at the angered woman before me. She'd sworn she was never coming back to Washington and as soon as I crossed the state line she was never coming to see me again, either. The look of pure loathing she was sending Quil told me perhaps that wouldn't have been such a bad thing for her to stick to.

She still had yet to say anything when Robert appeared beside her, looking more than slightly confused. Smiling at me, being the generally kind man he was, he stepped forward and gave me a hug which I returned. "Claire, how are you?"

Smiling genuinely, I nodded, "Great. I'm great. Robert, this is Quil. He's my boyfriend. Quil this is my stepdad, Robert."

They were just about to shake hands when my mom decided to voice her opinion, unfortunately, "Oh no he is NOT!" Quil and Robert both flinched at her tone. I imagined the painfully high pitch of her voice was killing Quil's sensitive ears.

Ignoring my mother, in a stunning display of courage, I must admit, Robert shook Quil's hand enthusiastically, "Hi, it's great to meet you. Do you go to school with Claire?"

Quil's mouth was just opening to reply when once again he was interrupted, "Oh, I _highly_ doubt that." My mom stepped forcefully in between Quil and I. She leveled me with the glare she always gave when she wasn't taking any defiance. "Claire, I am not allowing this. People like _him_ are the reason we went away."

"_We_ didn't go away," I objected, hand clutching Quil's instead of braiding. "_You_ took me away from the only family I'd ever known!"

She looked a bit taken aback. I guess she'd gone soft in the months I'd been gone. Either that, or she didn't expect me to have learned the truth. My siblings were too young to properly fight with her yet. Robert—sometimes I wondered why the man hadn't been a professional negotiator—inserted himself flawlessly. "At least, it seems you've found them again. Honey," he looked to my still silent mom, "she looks fine. Besides, she's an adult. She can be with whomever she wants."

For a second, I thought she was going to cave. Looking at Robert, her eyes seemed to soften. I had to give it to her. She was a bitch to me most of the time but she truly did love Robert. My momentary lapse of hatred ended abruptly. Her eyes that were so like mine narrowed and glared daggers at the hand I had entwined with Quil's.

It seemed to pain her to be so "calm" when she started, "Claire, they agreed. His father gave me the okay to leave. He said he didn't want us around anymore than I wanted to be around. He didn't want a little girl spilling their secrets any more than I wanted you to get eaten out in the woods!"

Blood draining from my face, I looked from her to Quil and then back. He'd known? He was…imprinted on me and he'd just let me leave? His dad had given my mom the go ahead?

Suddenly feeling inadequate in a relationship once again, I let go of his hand and backed away from all three of them. Tears welling on my lashes, I could only shake my head, "No. No, that's not true. It-It can't be true. You're lying again. I hate you!"

People were beginning to stare at us. A small crowd had gathered around the crazy, hysterical Native girl and the people with her. I began sucking in air in shallow gulps, now unable to breathe as I ran; something I was rather good at apparently.

I couldn't stand being unwanted in another family. I could only take so much rejection—especially when Quil was involved. Who was I kidding? I couldn't take it at all when he was involved.

Just as I began sinking to the ground below the tree outside my dorm, two large arms surrounded me and pulled me back up. They were far too warm to be a normal person's. I couldn't look up at him, afraid of what I might find in those coffee-colored eyes of his. Only could I breathe again when he whispered, "Claire Bear, I'm not my dad. I never, _never_ wanted you to leave. I promise."

Sniffing back tears, I requested simply, "Say it again."

Taking my face in his pleasantly too-warm hands, he made me look at him. All I saw in those eyes was the infinite love that made me feel weightless. My smile had begun before he even started talking, "I never wanted you to leave."

* * *

><p>For the first time ever, I skipped class. I found myself curled up against Quil's side as he tried to explain the apparent hatred his dad had for me. I felt very stupid for not recognizing it earlier, too. I'd met Quil's dad on multiple occasions and I'd never gotten anything but a perhaps indifferent vibe.<p>

"It's not you personally, I don't think," he began.

I snorted. Yeah, wanting me to move across the country, away from his son who was linked to me, wasn't personal. Ha! No, I didn't have sarcasm problems at all.

He smiled a tad bit, "Okay, fine, maybe it is. But it wasn't about your personality or anything. He's scared. When you were little, he was scared you'd talk about us. He didn't want the secret out. That must be why he sent told your mom it was best to go. He probably called your mom when he found out you were back. She scares him because of what she can do if she tells people about us."

I glowered into my comforter. That was a bullshit reason! It was stupid and I hated it and it was….stupid. The worst thing about it, however, was that I could kind of understand where Quil's dad was coming from. He was trying to protect them. I refused to say anything—honestly unsure of what to say.

I felt Quil's head turn toward mine, worried at my silence I'd imagine, when there was a knock at the door. He immediately scooted a few inches away.

Robert amusedly shook his head, "Quil, I'm her stepdad, not stupid. Her mom isn't with me. Don't worry." Smirking slightly, he nodded at me, "Resume the position."

I laughed at that and snuggled into his side more. Robert actually seemed more comfortable after we were again. He stepped further into the room. "We're going home now. She's going to leave you be, Claire. I don't know everything, but I think she just wants to move on. I think this is the last straw. You're beyond her reach."

I nodded. I understood the feeling when it was associated with her. The only thing more painful than hating her so much was realizing just how much she returned the feeling to me. I suddenly wished we could go back and have a different relationship…although, that would mean probably not meeting Quil.

Life did weird things. Some things sucked but they led to great, life changing things. I think I was okay with going with the flow and finding out what happened, now that I had Quil. I smiled up at him suddenly at my thoughts and kissed him on the cheek.

This seemed to make Robert happy. He understood my mom and I probably were never going to have that suburbia mom-daughter relationship. He was just happy I had someone to be with me and love me. He walked closer and I rose and gave him a genuine hug. I was lucky to have him. He kissed my temple with a smile, "Come home for Christmas sometime, though. Bring him, too."

He shook Quil's hand and then said good-bye.

As the door closed and I let out a contented sigh with my arms wrapped around Quil's middle, he looked at me with clear bewilderment. Suddenly giggling, I grinned up at him, "Think you can deal with one of your girlfriend's parents hating you?"

He grinned back down at me, "If you can."

"We'll see," I teased before finding myself being mercilessly tickled. "Quil! Quil, stop it!"

He just laughed and I loved him anyways.


	11. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

"Yes, Emily, my tassel is on the correct side. I promise. Now I really need to get lined up." Claire soon-to-be Ateara rolled her eyes good-naturedly at her cousin. The older woman sighed and let her go after one last hug.

It was a little over two years since she had come back into their lives and no one wished for it to go back to the way it had been—especially Quil. He was especially proud of her today. She was graduating with a bachelor's degree at age twenty-one and was getting married to him in a little over a month and a half.

To say he was happy was an understatement.

What made it even better was that she'd gotten a job before even graduating with the Park Service to study the mysterious sightings of growing wolf packs throughout the Washington area, especially in these heavily wooded areas by the coast. The station she would work out of was only twenty miles from La Push.

He was never going to have to go through the daily agony of her being so far away from him ever again. A few weeks into their glorious relationship, she'd guiltily asked what it had been like for him when she was gone. Understandably, he'd lied. He said the pain lessened with time. He said that he could've dated if he wanted to; he just never found a decent girl around. He mentioned the fact that he had merely wondered what she looked like as she got older. He left out the parts where he'd gone on night-long howling fests every time her birthday rolled around.

But now that was all behind him…He got the eerie feeling that she knew better and was just humoring him, anyway. She knew him so well it was pleasantly uncanny.

He loved the pleasantly uncanny normalcy he now had.

He was going to get the same every day that Sam and Emily had, as well as the newlyweds Aubrey and Embry. He was going to get to wake up next to the woman he was inexplicably and deeply in love with each morning. He was going to get to steal kisses from her whenever he passed within six feet of her. He was going to make love to her every chance he got. He was going to get that warm, at peace feeling he got whenever they got to cuddle on the couch together and she fell asleep on him. He would get to smile as he watched her concentrate for hours on a drawing. He was going to get that laughing annoyance whenever she drank the last of the milk and left the empty carton in the fridge just to annoy him. He was going to get Claire forever.

What he didn't know though was that beneath the loving smile that Claire only directed toward him, she had a secret. A secret that would reveal her infant self in roughly eight months' time in the Forks hospital. What Quil didn't know that Claire suspected was that he was going to be more than a husband—he was going to be a daddy…

* * *

><p>AN: So, there you have it. And, no, I don't have plans for a sequel or anything. Babies just make me smile. :) Thanks everybody for reading. Throw any thoughts at me. Even negative ones will help make me better. Have a great day!


End file.
